God's peace

Today's Jesus card reading is about peace, more importantly, the peace that the Lord gives to us. 

Is there something in your life at this exact moment that you can immediately recall to the forefront of your mind that is taking your peace? I am sure that you don't even need to recall it, it has probably never moved to the recess of your mind. Are you feeling irritable of a routine, afraid of future events, or uncertain of a decision that needs to be made? This is the time to call upon God for His guidance and peace, even if it is not Jesus directly, because all of the Son of man's power is authorized through God the Father, anyway (Matthew 28.18).

Dear one, causing doubt is the devil's tactic - it is the strongest weapon that he uses. In the Old Testament he is called the Accuser. and in the New Testament his is called the father of lies (John 8.44). Spiritual warfare is the doubt, worry, and lack of faith that causes us to take matters into our own hands. As in the Garden of Eden, it is our greatest downfall to erroneously believe that we are like God, and can do what only He can do, and know what only He can know (Genesis 3.2-4). This is the folly that all humans fall into, but Christ offers us the Way around the landmines that destroy us, and the traps that ensnare us.

Today, make a conscious resolution that no matter what strife or fear you are experiencing, you will trust that there is a greater plan for you, more glorious than anything your broken spirit is equipped to process during this vulnerable time. Trust that God will protect you, and have the faith that you will get what you truly want in the end.

God rewards those who persevere. In fact, those who persevere are called saints - that is its true definition. So take heart! Your troubles have already been overcome (John 16.33), and peace is waiting for you, ready for the taking, at the exact and immediate moment that you choose to trust in God's healing power. 

Temptations

Welcome to my first Doreen Virtue Jesus Card Reading!! The way this works is, I select a card from a deck, and then write about it. It is very similar to Tarot, however, as shown below, it is not used to predict the future. I like to view it as opening the page to a random spot in a motivational book, as the Spirit guides us, but that there is a bit more ritual and intent involved. 

Today's card is about temptation. But it's more than just that. Temptation is all around us in every form imaginable. From food to sex to wrong thinking to laziness to anger.....the list goes on! Temptation is boring and uninspiring. No, the real message is to pray to be safe from temptation. Prayer is the true focus of today's card reading.

The Bible tells us to pray ceaselessly and tirelessly (1 Thessalonians 5.17-18). So the question really is, How free do we want to be? True strength is found only in humility, which means to know that of ourselves, we are nothing - it is the Father who doeth the work! (John 14.10). How well do we fight temptation on willpower alone? After an honest appraisal, chances are it will be revealed, not very well :)

There is nothing wrong in our weakness, for then we are strengthened in God (1 Thessalonians 5.17-18). So pray continuously to be relieved of the burdens of self; be sober and vigilant of the shortcomings that I know you work so courageously on (1 Peter 5:8), and then go into the world and be a witness to the miracle of God's saving grace. Announce the perfection that is your inheritance (Matthew 5:48), being confident that it will come into fruition, through God's complete and fulfilling love, and in our watching for anything that could be a stumbling block in our journey back to innocence. Amen.

Enoch

I had a friend from the Internet and we studied scripture together. We didn't focus on the same topics, but he was well versed in the Old Testament, and I was well versed in the New. However, he for the most part rejected Christianity. We got along amiably for years, we even talked in a round about way in forming our own belief system. He was so committed to his studies that he lived in the Middle East for years to aid in this research. Then he had real mental issues and things ended really badly for us. He attempted to reach out to me more recently, after I had to completely disconnect from him, to the point of even blocking him on Facebook. When he sent me a text message, as I said more recently, he cited PTSD. Something apparently happened in the Middle East, predominately Jordan from what I understand, but it was too late. I really do wish him well, but as someone who has been through the Twelve Steps, and who has done a thorough inventory and housecleaning, I knew that he was just sorry I blocked him, he wasn't really sorry for his behaviour, because he was still disconnected and ignorant to the root of his problem, and still playing the blame game. The sad truth is, I am certain that he had a psychotic break, though I can't know if it was before or after his relocation. 

I still really miss him, especially the past couple of days, where I have been inspired to delve once again academically into the scriptures. I really looked to him as a mentor, but it was never a balanced (working) relationship, he knew he was strong in his work, and he really believed  that I wasn't, and that I had nothing to bring to the table. He even accused me of using him, but I respected him greatly, and the truth was, he wanted more than a working relationship, he wanted to be romantic, and he disguised it in the form of wanting a "real" friendship - such as talking about personal issues, and even phone calls. This person was first in California, and then in the Middle East - there was no need for either, and I saw through it, but I still thirsted for his knowledge. 

But I am a different person now, I am confident, and for now, I can go it on my own. There are two things that have caught my attention recently, and re-sparked my love for real study of the scriptures and the traditions of Judaism and Christianity, however Judaism is an inclusive faith, and actually this is why he was such a valuable resource, he was nearly baptized as a Jewish convert. He had a wealth of information and could translate the Hebrew texts. He taught me a lot, but really, I have forgotten just about all of it. 

My first recent interest is the doctrine of purgatory. Protestants and Catholics tend to disagree on this teaching, the former denying it. This is a topic that I never studied before, I think it's pretty clear-cut, however in discussing it yesterday, I saw there was quite a bit to it that I was confused about, and even a woman who was doing really well in arguing for it kind of threw her arms up by the end of the debate, and really, I find this inspiring. My second interest is the Watchers, which are from what I have found thus far, best described in the apocryphal book of Enoch. This I have studied, this was my main area when I used to study with this man, and I think I was really strong in it, especially since I have a real talent in searching for information online. I even have an article on it, but it would be a hundred posts back by now, it was years ago. However I did title it "WIP" - Work in Progress, I knew it wasn't over. Now it's time for me to return to it, primarily because my current community is composed of born-again Christians, and I disagree with their fundamental assertions that Christ is the only way to heaven. In fact, I think they are treading down a dangerous path, and it is my intention to use the books of Enoch (there are three), to disprove them. 

I have the books in my cart on Amazon, and I am really excited, because this is my passion - to really study and write. I haven't done it in years, because like I said in my most recent post about card readings, I haven't been back in front of a computer in years. Four years, to be exact (the angel's number hahaha).

I miss having a mass spreading of literary resources sprawled in from of me, sheets of notes edited over and over, a Bible perpetually opened in my work space...This is a wonderful time for me once again. 

From within, pt II

My Doreen Virtue Jesus cards have been shipped (!) and I have decided to take this blog in a different direction, as I plan to prepare for my ministry. Perhaps in the new year I will let this blog rest, for it will have been seven years diligently writing at least one article, per month. I have 245 posts on this blog. I have changed a lot over those years, and seven years of posting on this blog is a great and holy number, which is why I want to really start considering putting it to rest. 

My ultimate goal is to be so intertwined with God, that He becomes my main focus, and so I feel certain that speaking His Word is my true destiny. I want to trust God utterly, and believe my mentors when they say that there is a plan for me, even if I can't see it yet, even though life seems to just want to beat me down. Working in a job that really kept me disconnected (too busy and then tired to be online, and no phone time allowed during work), and then studying business, did not work out. I am back at my desk job, where I often have too much spare time, and most of it wasted on Facebook. And I really do view it as wasted now. I think I am doing good on it, but all I really am is feeling dejected and judgemental, and I feel judged in turn. 

I am starting to accept that I am an artist - something that I didn't really want to be. But now, I know that I can still be in the world, and not of it. And I want to write. Truly. Writing is my true talent; it is what I am formally trained in, from an Ivy league university, and it feels right, it feels anointed.

My plan for my future writing is to ease my way into ministry through the use of the oracle cards. I plan to scan the card and use the image, since I finally understand that people respond more to images than to text, and then to write about it. And I have studied for so long, and have been given so many revelations, I really believe that I have a path in this. And I am feeling confident in the cards, as I have both studied and worked with Virtue's first deck of cards, Daily Guidance From Your Angels.

We'll see. I don't like good-byes, but I am not sure if I can keep up with this blog for another year, and I have done so well with it, I don't want to just crap out halfway though. I don't believe that I can't maintain two sites, or write both on daily card readings, or general entries, but it is so important to me to treat this blog with the utmost respect. This is just something that I am considering, in my hopes to get more serious, more evangelical, and to reach a bigger audience, and I wanted to share my intentions.

From within

I've been directed more and more that God is within, and that He has all Power to heal and guide me.

This is very frustrating, as I have always "needed" teachers to lead me to information and knowledge. But I forget that wisdom comes from mystical experience, and these teachers or leaders are not the source, only God working through me is the Source.

And though I feel no more confident in understanding this, today I do in fact understand this to be true, for I have sincerely exhausted all spiritual paths. I am given drops of water to be relieved of complete spiritual death, but really, there are no more guides, it is critical that I start accepting and believing that God is really all I need. This drought is withering me up, I am finally desperate enough to sincerely meditate. My hope is that I may pass on my guidance, as I do believe that we receive in giving, and as with my Program, it is time for me to give back, and become a teacher myself. I have benefited from teachers, including philosophers, for (exactly) twenty years, take take taking. It's no wonder that while I was so passionate for decades, am now so dejected.

I have been re-introduced to Doreen Virtue. Before my Christian days, I did go to her to for inspiration, though I have never had an infinity to angels; in fact, I have always been weary of them. However, three days ago (the day of the solar eclipse, NOT a coincidence) I watched her weekly card reading, just stumbling upon it. and I was transformed, and truly, healed. I have taken that strength and carried it with me, which I believe to be God's blessing, for no Power is carried over into the next day, only through God's grace I am still strong from this reading. This is a sign for me that I am safe in my understanding and direction.

I haven't been in Virtue's circle for years, and when she referred to Christ in her video, I was happy, and thought it was so cool that she goes to an Anglican church. I thought, I don't remember her being a Christian. I even preordered her new book, which is daily affirmations rooted in the Bible.

Yesterday, I took a massive leap, and purchased her first deck of angel oracle cards. Then an hour later, I was shown that this year she took a huge change in direction, and renounced some of her work! From now on, the sales that she makes from her tarot cards, will be going to a Hay House (her publishers) charity, and in a years time, she will have her name entirely removed from them, and eventually they will be taken out of print (along with her Ascended Masters writings). This is really disappointing, and for me, just insane that I discovered this RIGHT after I made the purchase. However the silver lining is that this fascinating system will no longer "belong" to anyone, and this might benefit my studies if I do what I believe I am being called to do, which is to become a therapist/spiritual adviser.

I need to stop using people and things to be a means to an end, and only use them for a tune up. We go to God on our own, though today I do believe in angels, and know deep down that they are not some flaky new age invention. Angels really are messengers, guides, and the true lovers of God. I really hope to use angel therapy still, and maybe it can be the oil for the vehicle I travel by. I am hoping that Virtue can still be a guide for me, though from my own experience, no one ever truly comes back from a break the same way.

This blog has been called "From Within" for years. Maybe it's time I check in for messages, and being writing posts to reflect that. 

The offering

A cup of hot water
and a basket of fruit.
He walks to the altar,
and refutes the abuse.

In a moment it's over,
so time doesn't exist.
And though I have faltered,
it is healed with a kiss.

Not forgotten

There's nothing left to want,
And everything to need.
Surmised, but not forgotten;
Trespassing through the trees.

And when the clouds do wake,
And let out all their rain,
There I will be waiting
For you to come again.