The prince is not the King

Jesus said twice, recorded first in the gospel of Matthew as speaking from the first person that he will in fact deny some, and then in the gospel of Luke, in the form of a parable using the master of a house who won't let strangers in in the middle of the night.

I contemplated my goal as a missionary of The Most High, if some will without question be turned away from the Kingdom of God, then why would I use my energy to prophesy repentance and to encourage those of the hope that is there for us to partake in? Then I remembered all of the people over the years, who alleviated my sunken spirit, simply by speaking the truth - that there WILL be relief. That relief might come by the end of the hour, the day, the year, or a lifetime, but this degenerate world is by far not all that there is.

It is easy to become despondent when the prince of this world rules it with an iron first, but we forget so readily that the King of this world in truth is still the True One in charge - He calls the final shots, and He is always ready to heed to petitions, while His Father is ready to balance the scales with speed for those who believe and trust in Love and Justice.

If you are someone who worries that Jesus will turn you away on the last day, fear not. There is always someone praying for you, whether you know it or not - the Church's greatest strength is praying for ALL people,. The saved are empowered to successfully petition for anyone. We know this to be true when Apostle Paul taught that we can in fact rescue others.

Make no mistake about it. In this captured world of poverty and violence, New Age desperate attempts to claim its way out of the mayhem and pain is bogus, and it is dangerous. It robs us of power by scattering our focus and energy. Our mission is to not to escape our hardship, it is to meet with it shielded with courage and grace, and let it be known that it holds no power over us. We do not fight to support ourselves - this is NOT a war of flesh, nor is it a war of terrorism or of the middle-class. Our fight is on a spiritual battleground, and being deceived of this is the enemy's most clever ploy.

The answer is not in running away from pain, it is marching toward it. There are trained soldiers here to walk ahead and clear a path. But we are not secretive, which means we will not seek you - you must seek us. Then we will guide you gladly. I am at your service.

Long-suffering

I remember during my fundamental Christian years, how absolutely terrified I was of Halloween. And though I was struggling psychologically, they were genuine fears that were not embedded in any teachings of Satan, but rather of a very real occult world that I have since made peace with.

But years ago I relied on the front-line Christians to sooth my nervous spirit, and they delivered. And on November first, All Saints' Day, I was dismissed from all anxiety: I had made it through another Halloween.

Those people who I looked up to aren't around anymore in that same capacity. They got married, became involved in new activities, or simply lost interest in evangelizing. This morning I have been thinking, as I have been writing of late, of the people I looked up to who are no longer around. I realize that it's not fair to place burdens on people, or to box them in so that I can have a go-to when needed. Not only were they not professional exorcists, people are creative and need the fluidity to transform as we move through life and all the interesting parts of it that might influence and inspire us.

But it in turn has inspired me to question what my ultimate goals are. I know my offline life is much different from my online life. My offline life I clean compulsively, take care of animals, study ballet, have coffee with a few people who I am close to, and go to work at an entry-level job. But my online life I am an intellect, a revolutionary, a prophet. And it is here that I can really focus and hone my mind and audience.

I don't want to be like those Christians who just stopped being a mouthpiece for Christ, or the New Age gurus who fell apart once they stumbled on a pebble along their path. I seek a conviction that will withstand the coarse seasons in order to remain a bright light. Jesus said what good is salt once it loses its saltiness? Every person I have relied on lost their flavour, but at the end of the day it's between me and God and no one else. I'm the only one who I can change, and I wish all the others well, perhaps they weren't on their true path to begin with and this is necessary and good.

Now I prepare to re-group. I have knowledge in many fields, and while I can now interconnect them, welding them can be a stumbling block for anyone who is as I was, and those are the people who I am most interested in reaching. People who are lost, afraid, and desperate for direction. Focussing on one method would be the most effective tactic, however that presents a danger in becoming rigid. When a person is rigid, they risk breaking under resistance, rather than bending and adjusting to challenges.

But now that I have passed through the test of being in the world and not of it, the concern of succumbing to the pressure isn't so much the concern as it once was. External expectations and desires don't hold much power over me today because the refiner's fire removed the lust for the connection that I thought I needed. I know today that it will only ever be me, and the foot of the Cross.

It would be tragic to go on the way I have been, relying on people when I am the one who has the strength, looking for guidance when I am the one who has the answers, seeking out teachers when I'm the one who has the discipline. But would I be better a hermit than to become a traitor to my cause, as so many others who have come before me have?

Any person who has questioned his or her spirit and how it yokes with God knows that to live in the fear of "What if" is to be repelled, that it is nothing but a hindrance toward the peace that we aspire to reside in. My only goal at this time is to help others the way that I have been helped, with the hope that I will be long-suffering, as love truly is. God speed that my method be revealed soon enough.

Fire and Earth

It's been a while since I have received inspiration to write. With a new job that has taken me away from the computer, which I am grateful for, I have had very little time to be interactive both online and in person. But that notwithstanding, my spiritual direction has re-routed as well. So many people I have removed from my psychic or physical circles but it was all mutual. What I mean by that is, I responded to choices made by others in affirmative resolves to continue on my path of personal, inter-relational, and material development without them. And there is no love lost, only the grace of God providing me a cloud to glide on. And because it was organic, I know I need not wait for other people to make the first move - I can either walk away, or simply not get involved in the first place. And that is an incredible new awareness.

Yes I could dwell on the negative  - that being my disappointment and self-righteousness, but I learnt how to not give my power away by focussing on other people. I have also learnt compassion, because I know I am prone to similar mistakes. No one has all the answers, and the people who act like they do, the people who I am attracted most to, I will no longer give my time to. Those are the people who are going to crash and burn, and take me with them because I follow too closely behind. It took me many years to learn this, but history shows I need to be spiritually depleted before seeing the error of my path. I know unreliable people cloaked in self-realization are simply living the best way they can with what they have, just as all people who are trying to make the most of life do. But today I am liberated to know that I will not be involved in their inevitable collapse.

Of course it still hurts to see all the trappings that people who I looked up to have fallen into, the hubris, the ignorance, the greed, the self-interest, but moving forward people's bad decisions will longer affect me because now I know there is no humanly fix for a spiritual yearning. Fortunately my decision to  leave most people in the past is not a frightening thing, because for the first time I no longer care about what other people think BECAUSE I have accepted my own imperfections. When I am open about my own drawbacks, no one can claim power over them. And when I am accepting of my drawbacks I can be made perfect in God, because they are now 100% His.

People who I place in a position which could make my path crooked, must now be discerned as such, and kept as a great distance so when they make sharp turns or slam on the brakes, I won't be following behind to not be able to stop in time. I will no longer be involved either personally or emotionally in other people's leadership where their decision-making will invariably negatively affect me.

When I stand before God, I must have a clean account, and I can't when I am trying to be someone on this plane who I am not, which happens when I try to be a part of people places or things that I have no business being around. Period. So now what? I have a new heart, a clean slate, and a narrow path that leads to the eye of the needle that I WILL pass through, Being rid of situations that are stumbling blocks is but a beginning, it is only one step.

Focus is the second step. Since collapsing is my default program, reliance on the fire that will purify me rather than the earth that will corrupt me must come next, but it is also necessary to not hate or campaign against anything that is from God, which is everyone, and the things that they build, and then destroy. I can be grateful to the people who have inspired me to this point in my commitment to God's requests of me, but I do not owe them my time or support, and having recognized that I can take a third step - full commitment to my higher calling, which is working on my gifts within my limitations.

My personal trinity is my new model for victory, and is a formula that I believe to be vindicated. Unrestrained focus on what makes MY life worthwhile, as sanctioned by God.  - GOD. Not other people's requests of me, their need for validation, or need to be noticed. The greatest people in history walked a narrow path that often times had them ostracized or even killed. From mystics to scientists to inventors. And in my greatness, I am prepared to drink from that cup. Amen.

In abundance

Ah, time for another inspiring post. Away from the degradation of the human by society's standards and demands, and toward the integrity of the human, which is what true spirituality is all about. In God's good time I have been released of all pain, of all expectations, and of all comparisons. That doesn't mean that I won't have a dark night of the soul here and there, but thankfully I am a great sleeper, and never actually have to succumb to it. And that's because it is not God's plan for me to sit in my poverty. God gives us all our way out. Mine is sleep. I need to rejuvenate in body and mind for I am to be the salt of the earth and that is how I receive my strength to actually accept that. Salt, one of the most valuable substances in ancient times due to its incredible healing and preserving properties.

5D Selflessness

I'm inspired to get back to a more upbeat theme in my work. I went through a difficult year. I belabored the inspirational speakers, who to my error relied too heavily on, when their personal lives got in the way of their work, or caused them to abandon their efforts all together. But last week I realized I did the same thing: I went from posting minimum two articles a week to one article a month, if even, after going through my setback in the late winter. Life has been challenging mostly just because it has been different. In retrospect, nothing of tragedy actually happened. I can see now that the big obstacle, losing the family home, had to happen, because it was infested with very serious and crippling pain going back decades. I know through and through after a break-through this past weekend that it really was time to let it go. It wasn't a loss so much as it was a stepping stone to greater things.

Someone who I follow on Facebook mentioned 5D the other day in one of his videos. He wasn't referring to the new age idea of vibrating at such a high frequency we leave this planet and go into the heavenly realms, he was talking more about the dehumanization that our culture and technology is leading us to, and changing those attributes into more considerate counterparts (some of which I'll mention soon).

 I believe in choices more than ever now, and while I learned something unfortunate about society in one more step away from innocence last month, I moved one more step toward an incredible independence where I believe today I can be the author of my own outcome. but it takes a lot of hard work, mostly mental dexterity.

And in that empowerment I have new energy and strength to look at 5D in a new way, and I made up my own formula: Love, Kindliness, Compassion, Tolerance, and GENEROSITY. The last being the real theme of this piece today. These are the ingredients for sacrifice, but since people don't like that word in a society that would prefer to chant mantras than recite prayers, I will instead call it selflessness - which is the same thing just packaged in a more palatable design.

We can all talk about being compassionate and caring when immersed in the cocoon of conversation, but when it comes to applying that knowledge in the world during times when we feel threatened or when we are feeling tight on time, unappreciated, and disrespected, those good intentions of practice become just theoretical ideals that are made for another time (5D perhaps?). But the glue that bind those ingredients together which permits some sort of form to be transformed into something to really be enjoyed is generosity.

When I can recognize that I really do have the time, the respect, the worth...all of those things that I fear are not present, I no longer need to defend myself. My survival and twisted sense of prestige fall by the wayside. When I really DO believe that I have an abundance, yes I can let people get on the subway ahead of me even though I was standing first in line, yes I can take a breath and not react when someone cuts me off on the road, yes I can feel appreciative of what another woman might have that I don't, instead of letting jealousy dictate how I will judge a situation.

So the key is to believe that I will be okay if I share. The purpose is to come to an understanding between me and God that I have plenty, and that there is enough time, space, resources, talents and gifts to be generous with everything that I have to offer. I'll be posting more on this topic, because I also have enough strength, resilience, and humility to remain in this vein. The vein that leads me to the veil where all peace and prosperity rest behind.

In the valley

"We are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life— those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration. We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength. Yet our spiritual selfishness always wants repeated moments on the mountain. We feel that we could talk and live like perfect angels, if we could only stay on the mountaintop." - Oswald Chambers

I came to see the error in my thinking that if only I could stay on the mountaintop, if only I could remain in the environment that best suits me, I could be the person who God intended me to be, but what I didn't actually have the strength to be. I had grown weary of those moments of relief, where it seemed like God was just throwing me a bone. I wanted - no, deserved -  a life of continuous inspiration and spiritual ecstasy, where all would always be right in my world, where I would have the patience of the saints and the power of the angels.

I didn't realize that those things don't come from moments of exhalation when God claims me for His own, they come through continuous and relentless hard work. For anyone who clicks on the link to read where this quote comes from, Chambers refers to a story in the Bible (see Mark 9:14-18), a brutal scene where the disciples could not heal a child. The scribes began to provoke them, and Jesus arrived having to ask what was going on. What a humiliating blow.

It's not that the disciples didn't hold the inherent power to heal the child, it's that they were not prepared. They had not made the sacrifices necessary to undertake such a massive task. I have always recognized the unpreparedness in this passage, and could theorize that I was not doing all of the work that I could be doing, but since I am not an exorcist I was fine staying in my comfort zone and leaving the serious healing up to the professionals.

I went merrily along my unprepared state, feeling quite righteous, until one day my path became obstructed. A dark cloud was besetting upon me, and it scared me to the point of tears. I wrote it off as hormonal imbalance, I would discover it was because I was about to face the most fierce demons to date. So when the time came for face-to-face combat, I lost. I simply did not have the strength because I had not trained. I was unprepared because I sat on my laurels and coasted for years. Ignorance is bliss, until it becomes grief.

In all healing there are dangers to the practitioner, and a worldly example that I find amazing is that emergency responders actually wave their rights under the law for the protection that all other citizens may benefit from, so that they may help others. This is no different in the supernatural world, there are consequences to helping a very sick person when not equipped, and I wasn't.

But a battle lost becomes a training field in preparation for winning the war. My culture shock was a necessary experience to gain new knowledge about myself and the world around me. As Chambers taught, the question is not what did I learn, but how can I apply this new information that I have acquired? Did I really want remain disconnected from this world? No, I would rather lose a fight than not develop and learn new stratagem.

I have recovered from my two-day long battle, but there are still some parts that are fuzzy that I need to sort out, with God. It's important that apathy is not mistaken for confidence, or diffidence for uprightness, lest I risk opportunities to be of service, due to uninformed conclusions.

I'm in a new month with a new job and new friends and a lot of hope. Out of mire grows healing ingredients, and now I am learning how to work with my surroundings, instead of against them. I aim to not slide into indifference again, but in order to resist complacency, I must work everyday, actively and with intention. Having new experiences, I can with new information be proactive in order to stay better connected to what is required of me in day-to-day living, and that's a good feeling.

Valley of Confusion by Markus43