It's been a while since I have received inspiration to write. With a new job that has taken me away from the computer, which I am grateful for, I have had very little time to be interactive both online and in person. But that notwithstanding, my spiritual direction has re-routed as well. So many people I have removed from my psychic or physical circles but it was all mutual. What I mean by that is, I responded to choices made by others in affirmative resolves to continue on my path of personal, inter-relational, and material development without them. And there is no love lost, only the grace of God providing me a cloud to glide on. And because it was organic, I know I need not wait for other people to make the first move - I can either walk away, or simply not get involved in the first place. And that is an incredible new awareness.
Yes I could dwell on the negative - that being my disappointment and self-righteousness, but I learnt how to not give my power away by focussing on other people. I have also learnt compassion, because I know I am prone to similar mistakes. No one has all the answers, and the people who act like they do, the people who I am attracted most to, I will no longer give my time to. Those are the people who are going to crash and burn, and take me with them because I follow too closely behind. It took me many years to learn this, but history shows I need to be spiritually depleted before seeing the error of my path. I know unreliable people cloaked in self-realization are simply living the best way they can with what they have, just as all people who are trying to make the most of life do. But today I am liberated to know that I will not be involved in their inevitable collapse.
Of course it still hurts to see all the trappings that people who I looked up to have fallen into, the hubris, the ignorance, the greed, the self-interest, but moving forward people's bad decisions will longer affect me because now I know there is no humanly fix for a spiritual yearning. Fortunately my decision to leave most people in the past is not a frightening thing, because for the first time I no longer care about what other people think BECAUSE I have accepted my own imperfections. When I am open about my own drawbacks, no one can claim power over them. And when I am accepting of my drawbacks I can be made perfect in God, because they are now 100% His.
People who I place in a position which could make my path crooked, must now be discerned as such, and kept as a great distance so when they make sharp turns or slam on the brakes, I won't be following behind to not be able to stop in time. I will no longer be involved either personally or emotionally in other people's leadership where their decision-making will invariably negatively affect me.
When I stand before God, I must have a clean account, and I can't when I am trying to be someone on this plane who I am not, which happens when I try to be a part of people places or things that I have no business being around. Period. So now what? I have a new heart, a clean slate, and a narrow path that leads to the eye of the needle that I WILL pass through, Being rid of situations that are stumbling blocks is but a beginning, it is only one step.
Focus is the second step. Since collapsing is my default program, reliance on the fire that will purify me rather than the earth that will corrupt me must come next, but it is also necessary to not hate or campaign against anything that is from God, which is everyone, and the things that they build, and then destroy. I can be grateful to the people who have inspired me to this point in my commitment to God's requests of me, but I do not owe them my time or support, and having recognized that I can take a third step - full commitment to my higher calling, which is working on my gifts within my limitations.
My personal trinity is my new model for victory, and is a formula that I believe to be vindicated. Unrestrained focus on what makes MY life worthwhile, as sanctioned by God. - GOD. Not other people's requests of me, their need for validation, or need to be noticed. The greatest people in history walked a narrow path that often times had them ostracized or even killed. From mystics to scientists to inventors. And in my greatness, I am prepared to drink from that cup. Amen.
Yes I could dwell on the negative - that being my disappointment and self-righteousness, but I learnt how to not give my power away by focussing on other people. I have also learnt compassion, because I know I am prone to similar mistakes. No one has all the answers, and the people who act like they do, the people who I am attracted most to, I will no longer give my time to. Those are the people who are going to crash and burn, and take me with them because I follow too closely behind. It took me many years to learn this, but history shows I need to be spiritually depleted before seeing the error of my path. I know unreliable people cloaked in self-realization are simply living the best way they can with what they have, just as all people who are trying to make the most of life do. But today I am liberated to know that I will not be involved in their inevitable collapse.
Of course it still hurts to see all the trappings that people who I looked up to have fallen into, the hubris, the ignorance, the greed, the self-interest, but moving forward people's bad decisions will longer affect me because now I know there is no humanly fix for a spiritual yearning. Fortunately my decision to leave most people in the past is not a frightening thing, because for the first time I no longer care about what other people think BECAUSE I have accepted my own imperfections. When I am open about my own drawbacks, no one can claim power over them. And when I am accepting of my drawbacks I can be made perfect in God, because they are now 100% His.
People who I place in a position which could make my path crooked, must now be discerned as such, and kept as a great distance so when they make sharp turns or slam on the brakes, I won't be following behind to not be able to stop in time. I will no longer be involved either personally or emotionally in other people's leadership where their decision-making will invariably negatively affect me.
When I stand before God, I must have a clean account, and I can't when I am trying to be someone on this plane who I am not, which happens when I try to be a part of people places or things that I have no business being around. Period. So now what? I have a new heart, a clean slate, and a narrow path that leads to the eye of the needle that I WILL pass through, Being rid of situations that are stumbling blocks is but a beginning, it is only one step.
Focus is the second step. Since collapsing is my default program, reliance on the fire that will purify me rather than the earth that will corrupt me must come next, but it is also necessary to not hate or campaign against anything that is from God, which is everyone, and the things that they build, and then destroy. I can be grateful to the people who have inspired me to this point in my commitment to God's requests of me, but I do not owe them my time or support, and having recognized that I can take a third step - full commitment to my higher calling, which is working on my gifts within my limitations.
My personal trinity is my new model for victory, and is a formula that I believe to be vindicated. Unrestrained focus on what makes MY life worthwhile, as sanctioned by God. - GOD. Not other people's requests of me, their need for validation, or need to be noticed. The greatest people in history walked a narrow path that often times had them ostracized or even killed. From mystics to scientists to inventors. And in my greatness, I am prepared to drink from that cup. Amen.
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