The essentials in being human

What I've learnt so far in the summer of 2011 (an on):

1) Being in pools, lakes, oceans (playing in water)
2) Amusement parks (going on rides)
3) Mosh pits

"Welcome"

From new indie band of St. John's, Newfoundland, Hey Rosetta!

The first time I heard this song, I only really picked up on the line about being 33 years old, because that's my age.  I felt guilt, because my immediate interpretation was, "everything (I) wanted and tried to be has been pulled apart because of MY fear and greed."

But when I saw Hey Rosetta!  at Downsview Park on Canada Day, one of their last songs was "Welcome", and it gave me chills, as though I was high.  Suddenly, I realized that this is my song to feel inspired, not my song to feel shame because of any fault through my own doings!  Maybe it sounds strange to identify with this song as "mine", but the embarrassment that I felt at the aforementioned lyric, and the upliftment of how I now interpret it after seeing them perform live, is truly strong.  This is MY song!

After the lyrics, I posted a flawless performance by the group during the South By South East festival at the beginning of the summer.  Enjoy :)

You'll be a bright light, coming out of the dark.
All the doctors, blinking hard.
You'll be lightning, coming out of the storm.
It's a message; it's a miracle.

You will do alright.
You've got your mother's eyes.
You've got your daddy's head;
everything thing you need for this hard ride
they'll be strapping you on.
All the ups and downs, and you can't get off.

There's trouble we're handing off
and you've got to do better than us.

It will be alright.
You've got lots of time.
You've got your daddy's love,
everything you want.

I can feel you, and what you're going to be.
You'll be stronger, you'll be smarter than me.

Oh baby, I'll say it again:
You're the most incredible thing.

I'm sorry, this is it.
It's cold and hard and badly lit,
and there's no backing out of it.

So forget where you've been.
It will never be that good again;
we must only look ahead.

And soon you're 33,
and everything you tried to be
is pulled apart by fear and greed.

But young hands could build you up,
and carve your face in honest rock,
sunlight on your noble jaw.

Young hands build you up...

I'm happy that you've come along.

Hey Rosetta! performing "Welcome"

On guard for thee

Whatever happened to just standing on guard for thee?

 From today's Globe and Mail:

"Canada is more...than hockey, saying ‘eh’ a lot, and drinking Tim Hortons coffee".  I'm conflicted on this belittlement of (fun) national identity.

First of all, it's the beholders' own folly for ignoring (or making conclusions based on ignorance) our incredible and accomplished history.  Who doesn't know that we burned down the White House?   Canada IS in fact known to have excellent hard power, despite the US making fun of us for being, and I quote Homer Simpson, the "younger brother, who, by the way, has never had a girlfriend".

In trying to show we are not just soft power, (which apparently is how we define Peacekeepers who gang up on and  beat civilians to death), we're sending out a very clear message to the world stage that we ARE in fact aggressive; but this is already completely obvious!  We riot over hockey, for crying out loud.  How does puffing out our chest and implying that we are ready to fight benefit us?  This only puts us on the radar.  What are we trying to prove, and to whom?

Now in terms of the Monarchy, as a once dominate culture (which I personally hail from), that has now become the minority to what appears to be Eastern Europeans, whom, from what I have observed, consider Canada to be second-rate to their homeland and don't really seem to want to be here, I really don't have a problem with returning back to the entire foundation of this awesome country.  But then where does this leave Quebec?  The French helped to make this country interesting and unique, and it is crucial to work with the Separatists, whilst not alienating those who do in fact respect the Empire.

On the flip side to my disagreement of our exertions, Harper is brilliant for funding our presence in the North, and I am extremely grateful for his timely insight and action; this is standing on guard, literally, which is, in my opinion, is the most noble form of patriotism.  

In closing, can we not just be left to train for defence: we already know we are amazing, must we flaunt pearls before swine? 

Harper spins a new form of patriotism

Masks

I was on a date with a guy who I had (foolishly) put a lot of stock into, and on our strange and final night together, he began talking to me about the masks that people wear.  The self-consciousness in me immediately assumed he was referring to a fakeness in my character, but in retrospect, I think that he was saying in a roundabout way, that he's actually a dick.

This got me thinking about masks.  We're taught in school that we all have different "personalities", or roles: child (daughter/son), student, friend, and so on.  For years, my yoga training has been to reverse these stigmatizations and suffocations in our characters - to be consistent: to both balance the polarities, and to grow steadfast in our characters.

I have had a very interesting (and amazing!) long weekend.  After a series of events, I realized that I am not as steadfast as I thought I was: that I am very well wearing masks, and they switch around depending on the company that I am in.

When I am nervous and shy around people who I don't know, I  can come across very meek, sunny, and sweet, even.  But when I am around people who I am comfortable around, I can be like ice:  condescending, sarcastic, even quite mean at times.

I realized, after months of trying to understand my character flaw of nervousness, that this is why I can be awkward in unfamiliar, or even familiar, places.  Deep down, I know that there is a discord in my character - something that I am refusing to address, even to myself.

I had the heebie-jeebies when going to sleep last night.  I imagined myself talking to Jesus, and I saw that I needed to let go of any "dark" or "heavy" feelings that I LIKE holding onto; feelings that, in a way, I feed off of.  I truly believe that this is the only way at this time, that I can begin to feel more relaxed.

I do not believe that I am to let go of all desire to fight, whether it be an idea, a fantasy, or even myself, but harbouring these feelings of negativity are only presenting one view of the world to me - that we are all evil, depraved, and fake; that when push comes to shove, we would feed off our own family members to survive.

What horrible thoughts I have!  Being in socially opposite situations this part long weekend, where in one place I felt like a stranger, and the other place I felt more at home, I saw that I will see what I want to see, but more importantly, that I can control the way I interpret things.

And though I have blood-lust, we all do, this only creates a feeling of defence and otherness, which I suspect leads to awkwardness, stiffness.

 Rolling in the deep