Entering the 4th dimension

- Time and space can be bent. Meaning we can manipulate space to not have any time, enabling us to become immortal (which is really just continuing to evolve through the higher dimensions).

- To recognize the universe (again, the 16 particles that build all life and material) is the same as us. When we can bend the space-time continuum, we can erase both, and have only this moment, with no mistakes of the past, and no fears of the future.

• To be in the now.
• To lose the ego, which means no hatred or envy which lead to insecurity, anger, violence and morality.      (And in that order, I believe).
• To accept and to love, even if it is only self-love that we can manage indefinitely.

I'll probably add to this later after some more brainstorming.

"Whenever there's a drought get your umbrellas out, because that's when I brainstorm." - Jay-Z

Jesus is Saviour

"They birthed great giants, whose height was three thousand ells: Who consumed all the acquisitions of men. And when men could no longer sustain them, the giants turned against them and devoured mankind." - Book of Enoch VII 2.

"My flock lacks a shepherd and so has been plundered and has become food for all the wild animals." - Ezekiel 34.8

"I swear I am coming against these shepherds. I will claim my sheep from them...I will save my sheep." - Ezekiel 34.10-1

"I am the good shepherd." - John 10.11

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms." - Isaiah 40.11

The folly of the New Age movement

I love, and I earnestly mean that word, the New Age movement. Before I became a Christian two years ago, yoga healed me and made me strong. It made me likable (except when I was zealous), it took away frustration, it allowed for me to bless a person who did wrong against me, whether it was as little as cutting me off on the road, or as hurtful as slandering me.

But a year ago, for whatever reason, though I'm sure at the time it was a good one, I detested, and again I use that word intentionally, the New Age movement. I rebuked all yogis, I hated my "spiritual" friends for helping to usher in the anti-Christ, and everyone who was not for Jesus was against me and the world. The fear in my being was so strong, I truly believed that Satanists were trying to kill me. And I am not exaggerating; I was crippled.

After entering AA in January, my fear immediately dissipated, and again, I was healed. I loved yoga; I did not practice it (I gave up yoga years ago to focus on ballet, except for the odd class), but I meditated on my Sat Nam to once again be my fearless and trusted compass. I still took the Eucharist at least once a week, but I was teaching myself how to reconcile my own life, and my two opposite spiritual paths.

I have been enjoying playing upon this unification, but I still see one fundamental problem within the New Age movement: the teaching that we are gods.

As it is written in Ezekiel:

"Because you are haughty of heart,
you say, 'A god am I!
I occupy a godly throne
in the heart of the sea!'—
And yet you are a man, and not a god...

Therefore I will bring against you
foreigners, the most barbarous of nations.
They shall draw their swords
against your beauteous wisdom,
they shall run them through your splendid apparel.
They shall thrust you down to the pit, there to die
a bloodied corpse, in the heart of the sea.
Will you then say, 'I am a god!'
when you face your murderers—
No, you are man, not a god,
handed over to those who will slay you."

What are some of the characteristics of being god?  Immortality.  Forgiveness.  Love.  Power.

When we have our backs up against the wall, when we have been treacherously violated, are we able to do any of the above? Absolutely not. When the yogi is about to die, he will see that he is not immortal, and that he will not be able to love the person before him. 

I see hypothetical questions constantly, and everyone answers so righteously: "Yes I would die for that stranger", "Yes I would forgive the one who killed my family", "Yes I would love the one who robbed me", "Yes I am powerful enough to change my destiny". I was never ceased to be amazed at such falsehood.

When the yogi "faces his murderers", he will indeed see, that he was never a god.

A kingdom not divided

"I was sent only for the lost sheep of the House of Israel." -  Matthew 15.24. This essay is to be appreciated by all, but of course we are not all called to be warriors. Peace to those of all faiths and non-faith alike.

Yahweh is the teacher. He has control over his students. Satan is not his child, rather he is the angel to another god, but Yahweh was still able to punish Satan, because Satan was in his classroom (Eden).

When Satan seduced Eve causing the fall of the humans, Yahweh said, "Now they have become one of us, knowing good from evil" (Genesis 3.22), meaning that we are now engaged in battle; we truly fell from innocence. We became either of the darkness, which Adam and Eve became, or of the light, which belong to Jesus.

As a result, when Jesus was accused of healing a man through the power of Beezlebub (Luke 11.14-5), Jesus said a kingdom divided against itself will fall (17). Since Yahweh reigns on earth, which the Jews knew, Jesus demonstrated his authority. Note that while this is currently Satan's world (2 Corinthians 4.4), this is not a contradiction to God having the ultimate dominion of earth, because God has allowed for Satan to participate, as he did with Job (Job 1.11-2).

Therefore, Jesus says to us, “Be in the world, but not of it.” (cannot find actual verbatim in scripture). This of course leads to conflict and therefore at times painful acts of reconciling the body (earthly) and the spirit (heavenly), but this is why Jesus repeatedly said to not worry, giving us his peace, because he goes before us (Matthew 28.20). To recognize Jesus’ peace is to accept the detachment needed to be not of this world.

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So who is the "us” that Yahweh refers to in The Fall? A priest will call it the "royal we", but I will not accept that answer. I believe the “us” is either 1) Yahweh plus other gods, or 2) Yahweh plus the angels (since Yahweh is talking to Satan. who is a [fallen] angel). I am beginning to suspect, however, that "god" and "angel" can be synonymous. Satan, an angel, is called a god in Paul's second letter to the Corinthians, "The god of this world (Satan) blinded the minds of the non-believers" (4.4).

Historically, “god” was plural - "elohim".  Psalm 82.1 says that Yahweh takes his stand in the divine council amidst the gods. (See different translations here). I suspect that the divine council is where Yahweh conducts the rules of the war with his colleagues of equal stature (other gods), just as our state leaders behind closed doors also do. 

Yes, we are at war, but it is crucial to take heed to Saint Paul’s words: that we do not battle with each other, but with powers from above (Ephesians 6.12). However, the many who are called do still takes sides that affect the flesh, because those who deny the material are defaulted to the darkness, for even if unknowingly, they choose the world (1 John 2.15), and this is why few become chosen (my interpretation: to fight the battle. See Matthew 22.14). I suspect this is why Jesus said, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23.24). Most of us are unaware of the true enemy, which is not each other.

“You do not belong to the world, for I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” – John 15.19

Gnosticism and the Sat Nam

This article is where I got my inspiration for this blog. This article is not the end-all to Gnosticism. From my understanding, there are many schools within this discipline. 

I have capitalized “God” and “Sat Nam”, as though they are names/proper nouns. 

In Gnosticism, God, as we understand him, did not create anything, just as we did not create ourselves. Instead, He emanated, or brought forth his truth, that is the essence of the universe (which is in itself at this time incomprehensible, but my best knowledge there are only 16 particles that make up the entire universe, ergo, we are all much more connected than we recognize). When we seek our truth, our Sat Nam, we are also able to intuitively understand our purpose, which I believe is to find our peace. I believe that our Sat Nam can be understood as Sophia from one of the Gnostic myths. Sophia is referred to as the "divine spark" which is trying to be realized, and for me, the Sat Nam is the active connection between us and creation, trying to be reconciled so that we may find peace.

From my current understanding, the gnosis is the knowing of the spiritual truth of this mission, and is what liberates us. We want to be freed, and we can accomplish this through finding serenity, and helping us achieve this is the sole purpose of why Jesus came to earth. What is one way of being freed? One that I think most of us can relate to - losing our debt, a most crippling act of living outside our means. Another is live and let live, which also means to not engage in gossip, pointing fingers, or comparing ourselves to others.

So when this gnosis is released, and I will have to, hopefully, come back to this point in the future when I am fit to explain, though I can say now that it can partly be achieved through realizing that the material is not all that important, we begin to find ease (opposite of dis-ease) that comes with peace. I used to think that sobriety helped my gnosis, and that of course has helped me as I start to learn live without stress, but now I recognize that the support of a wonderful partner has also been key - and I have always believed that finding love has also been a key role in our quest - to reject the illusion of the external world, so that I may be more practical and comfortable. The Gnostics were right about not putting so much stock in the material, because today we scientifically know that only 5% of the universe is visible or knowable through sight or the other senses. Why would this be any different on earth?

Jesus repeatedly says do not worry: that he will go before us. Traditionally, Jesus was also referred to as “kurios”, which means “Name above all.” Since Jesus told us that the kingdom of God is within us, it can be argued that Jesus, the Saviour even in Gnosticism, was teaching us about our Sat Nam: our liberation, our peace.

Like myself, Gnostics do not believe sin is venial or mortal, but rather is the result of the ignorance of our reality that is blocked by all of our superficial wants and releases that make us miserable. We hate each other, we profit from war, we compete, and we are bitter when we lose, which we usually do. From my own experience, my greatest sins which are envy, pride, and wrath, all stem from my inability to see what is real. Now that I am improving spiritually through way of realizing that we all have our problems, through earnestly loving my partner, and in rejecting debt that is usually necessary to obtain the material to serve my ego, I can now fight my demons: I have been able to reject the terrible feelings that cause me to react to what I perceive to be threats.

For me at this time, the most important thing is to not become indoctrinated or conversely New Age. In discovering my Sat Nam, I have been able to discern, which has helped my confidence to the point that I can feel assured in my feelings and defend myself against what I believe challenges my autonomy and self-worth, because paradoxically, I recognize that there is no threat. 

I have been much happier since I have started to believe in myself, over something that I can not identify with. It does get a little tricky when I want something, and I would like ask someone in the sky to get it for me, but it doesn't feel hopeless. I tell myself that entity doesn't exist when I am tempted, such as when I am hoping for a new opportunity in my life, and I now say, "What will be will be".

On alcoholism

For anyone who is wondering whether they, or someone they know, is an alcoholic, there is a difference between a heavy drinker and an alcoholic, though superficially their characteristics look the same. Only through honesty, introspection and, in my opinion, group help, may we understand which we have become. 

For myself, having looked within and without, I recognize what separates the two:

1) A heavy drinker might appear to drink like an alcoholic, but he/she can stop if something really crippling will come of it, such as a major loss or death, whereas an untreated alcoholic will not, or can not, stop drinking until experiencing a major crisis ("hitting the bottom")

2) A heavy drinker can stay sober for the events that drive problems drinkers to take that first "relaxing" drink, whereas an alcoholic will, as the main book used in Alcoholics Anonymous says, get "tight" at all the wrong times

If this still does not help shed light on what alcoholism is, this link from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows the three accepted definitions on what it is:

1) A strong craving for alcohol

2) Continued use despite repeated physical, psychological, or interpersonal problems

3) The inability to limit drinking

More symptoms of alcoholism, provided by The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV, are further broken down, helping to set them apart from the problem drinker (the alcohol abuser):

1) Drinking only one brand or type of alcohol

2) Drink-seeking behaviour - Going only to places that serve alcohol, or spending time only with others who drink

3) Increased tolerance, so one must drink more to feel the effects

4) Physical symptoms after alcohol begins to leave body

5) Drinking further to ease these withdrawl symptoms

6) Being aware of this problematic need to drink (even if it's not disclosed to others)

7) Returning to drinking after a period of abstinence

What is great about group help, is that we get to hear others' stories. Because of my group work, for example, I learnt that binge drinking is a form of alcoholism. But because I can go for weeks or even months without a drink, along with the stereotypical notion that only trolls living under bridges are alcoholics, I didn’t realize that my behaviour was more serious that problem drinking. I now recognize that my ability to go stretches without a drink is really just the other side of the binge.

The more I work through my ailment in meetings, and the study that I do on my own, I accept my circumstance more and more, and I am beginning to feel better. I still do not discuss my alcoholism in social settings though, at least not yet. It is still too difficult to explain myself why I am not drinking. Part of my insecurity in talking to others about my choice, and yes it is becoming a choice now and not a "should", is because it is my eighth month in Alcoholics Anonymous, and I am only beginning to understand my destructive, dare I say suicidal, tendencies. A darker reason that I do not discuss it, is although it is not fully understood by the medical institutions, I do believe that alcoholism is the materialization of mental illness (how else can we explain going against our most natural instinct to self-preserve?), and I am so ashamed of my particular illness (it still grossly misunderstood, to the point that I feel it is degraded, making me feel that I am as well). Even in AA I cannot state that we are all truly ill. Yes, we say we are sick, yes we talk about our "disease" and our "character defects", but we do not utter what is even clearly written in Step 2.

Honesty and admittance are paramount to successful recovery. We do not need to philosophize to know how we feel about ourselves and our actions, and when we want to end that which we know to be what causes the unpleasantness: our drinking.

We committed genocide

One million people killed in Iraq.

Chairman of the US Federal Reserve admits war was about oil.

Opinion Research Business (ORB) publishes stats.

What the “Our Father” means to me

I have not altered the “Our Father” maliciously. If I had a realistic choice, I would not recite it, but I am part of a group where we pray this (no, not a parish), and for me it is not an option to stand out of it, so I had to come to my own understanding of when I pray to something or use the word “god”. My new understanding is New Age-like, but that is not my intention, so I do my best to not make a strong connection. I am trying to find my own way, and this mean utterly thinking outside of the box, though of course I have been influenced by the spiritual and religious practices I have used in the past. So, words like “divinity”, “higher self”, “service”, “consciousness”, and so on, are avoided, though they could easily be used.

Note: I believe that the “us” is scripturally inaccurate, because when Jesus teaches us this prayer, he says to recite this in private. I find this discrepancy to be another form of mass control, through indoctrination.

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Our Father who art in heaven

(My compass/intuition that is self-standing. It is this intuition that I address in this prayer)

Hallowed be thy name

(My name/being is truth, and cannot be defiled)

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done

(The peace that will come when I recognize my Name)

On Earth as it is in heaven

(My truth will be realized in obtaining the perfection I was created to seek)

Give us this day our daily bread

(May I be fuelled each new day with foods that will sustain, nurture, me in strength and agility)

And forgive us our trespasses

(Let me forgive myself so that I may be free of shame and regret, and move on with what is important)

As we forgive those who trespass against us

(Allow myself to forgive others so that I may find the grace needed to focus and live meaningfully)

And lead us not into temptation

(Let me remember to avoid people and places that keep me from growth)

But deliver us from evil

(Let me have the strength to recognize what keeps me stagnant, and to leave any situation that does)