The truth about Santa Claus

Christmas time seems to be difficult this year.  Maybe I am just having a hard time and projecting, but other than the houses I see that have their coloured lights on, I haven’t noticed much cheer: no simple little gifts or cards, not even treats!  But I am fortunate, because the people who I am closest to might feel pressures, but don’t let stressors envelop them: we roll with the punches.

I have my suspicions that the reason for this feeling of complacency less than two weeks before Christmas, is because we are all finally feeling the crunch of the global economic crash of 2008.  It has taken a few years, but now our debts have caught up with us.

In an atheistic world, we see Santa Claus as an over-indulgent man who brings gifts, and this staple of Christmas has led to a lot of consumerism that we simply cannot afford anymore, or more accurately, pretend to be able to afford.
 

"Santa" is not a secular fictitious man, though.  St. Nicholas existed in the first half of the fourth century, so there is a lot of speculation on his life and accomplishments now, and how he became the harbinger of presents, but my favourite folklore is that he rescued and protected children who were being mistreated.

So it makes sense to me that Santa is about bringing children toys and goodies, and that we take this time out of the year to be more conscious of those who need help buying things such as treats and food. 

But because we feel the need to be politically correct, and because the atheists have, in my opinion, bullied all of faith whether strong or weak, we really do not want to recognize Santa for who is really is: a man named Nicholas who hailed from what is now Turkey, had a following as early on as he walked on earth, and is now recognized as a saint in the Catholic church, adored for his theological and humanitarian efforts, and venerated as a soul who will appeal on our behalf for relief in this world as we struggle.  

Christmas is supposed to be magical, so why not for less than a month in a year, at least try to believe in miracles, because if we did, maybe we could focus on what Christmas really is: the preparation and the birth of Jesus the Christ.

To accept Santa as a secular being, and not as the miracle worker that he became immortal for, is to deny what this holiday (holy-day) truly means; and for what? Shouldn’t we already be offended? After all, we have already been systematically pushed down by the people who Santa himself opposed.

I believe that the true meaning of Christmas is about being grateful, even if we don’t have it all in order this year.  To recognize the truth in the season is to free ourselves, not enslave ourselves to be mindless sheep as we are told by the majority. 

Jesus said that heaven and earth will pass away, and I interpret that in part meaning that there will be no more adversity, no more in-fighting, no more hurt in faith and political digressions.

Until then, I say, either boycott Santa, or suck it up and accept Christmas for what it really is - a time of hope, patience, and anticipation for peace and prosperity. 

After all, even if a person does not accept that Jesus has come as God incarnated to abolish once and for all the evil of the world, most at least respect him as a prophet.

So, God bless us, every one.

Christ the King, Carly the Cranky

Next Sunday marks the beginning of Advent. Last Sunday we officially ended Original Time, and yesterday the calendar year came to a close, by celebrating the liturgy for "Christ the King".

It was not one of my better masses. I was cranky and defiant, and truthfully, I regretted not going to the 10 o'clock mass after seeing that the visiting priest would give the homily, because I find him to speak quite egotistically, too casually, and wants to give "entertaining" talks.

Having been awake for about only 40 minutes before I ran into the church several minutes late, unshowered, and with a mild discomfort from needing to use the washroom (there was a bathroom schedule conflict), I felt actual distain, as I took my place with lowered brows.

So when the Gospel reading came (from the book of Matthew, which is acknowledged by even minsters to be sharp and repudiate), my feelings then turned to hostility, more so with the church itself, for taking a teaching of Jesus too literally, "He (the Lord), will put the sheep at his right hand, and the goats at his left." (25.33).

Because of this one phrase, my fellow left-handers were persecuted and burned as witches in the Middle and Renaissance ages. Even my own grandmother, just two generations from me, had to learn how to use her right-hand, and corporal punishment was enforced to correct her if she failed to do so.

Of course, this terror, hatred, and intolerance that reigned for over 800 years, AD, was never Jesus' intention; in fact, it was the complete opposite.  Rather, these traits of evil were of Satan's infiltration into the Vatican, where he still holds his influence.

Jesus said that magicians are to have forgiveness, as our Father in heaven forgives us (Luke 11.3-4); this is one of the two commandments that Jesus gave us: a change in the old law of the Jews, which states all magicians are to die. (Exodus 22.18).  So the church actually regressed; but isn't that part of Satan's specialty, after all.

Looking up at the the scaffold, then down, then up again, I thought with a near frown, "This is so unfair" - a returning attitude of mine the past week or two after not getting the guy who I wanted.

Funnily enough, the visiting priest started off his homily saying that exact phrase, "It seems so unfair!", making a joke, saying that God doesn't really hate people "like him" (who is plump - in the first reading from the book of Ezekiel, the Lord says he will destroy "the fat and the strong").  Then he told us about a farmer who came to him after an earlier mass, and protested the readings as well: "What's wrong with goats!?".

We were told it was simply imagery, and that there's no need to be fearful.  I could appreciate this, but really all I could think was, "When is he going to mention the 'devil on the left-hand side'?  That was taken literally!  Can he explain how my people were tortured and killed for being 'witches'?"  And what about this folklore that has become superstition for us all today, even me: I am always temped to throw spilt salt over my left shoulder to "blind" the devil.

After doing a quick scan on the witch hunts this morning (linked below), I wonder, are left-handed people really of the devil?  My family, being Masons, have cursed my family tree, and endangered their souls.  Even my last name has occult familiarity, but after the coming of our Lord, persecution was and still is not justified.  Rather, the hunts were nothing short of blasphemy to Jesus in the highest.

So now I pray even harder that upon my conversion a year and a half ago, that I became of the ones in white -  and of course not the fake head-to-toe white that I wore when I practiced the occult in kundalini yoga - but rather of the real saints, as revealed by St. John in the book of Revelation, who are absolved by the new and everlasting covenant.  I believe that I have washed my robe clean in the blood of the lamb

Peace be with you.

Resources:

A timeline of the witch hunts
Cursed family trees

Purgatory month

Halloween has passed, and November 1st began a month of beautiful adoration to God and his saints.

Samhain was practiced (and is still today by pagans and secret fraternities) on the eve of the Celtic new year (October 31st), where sacrifices for purification were made.  When the Gospel was spread to what is today the United Kingdom and the Republic of Ireland, holy rituals justly reversed abhorrent ones.  The greatest example being Jesus offering his flesh, to supercede that of the children and virgins.

The atheist might say that Christianity was violently spread, and no doubt there was much blood shed; but be assured, it was spilt in righteousness, whereas the blood of human sacrifice could have never gladdened God.  The Bible tells us that the Lord requires no sacrifices, in fact, he is revealed to detest them. See Proverbs 15.8, and Amos 5.25 for starters

But since God is LORD, he showed us so much mercy, to both the sinners and the saints, that it only caused him to use the deplorable acts that fuelled Satanic tribes, and to mirror them in making the supreme sacrifice of himself - humbly incarnated as the Christ to give up his body so that all human sacrifice should end once and for all. John 3.16

I maintain that the Gospel (most notably the gift of the Eucharist) is the direct opposition of gentile societies, which exists even today in the form of secret brotherhoods and within pagan and Satanic sects.

Catholicism (the true "Christianity", in fact that latter word shouldn't even exist), is the only way to conquer the angel of death (Satan).  And since Samhain is such a destructive time for us, we are offered guidance and extra support from those in purgatory for the entire month of November.

So next year on Halloween, consider why we dress up.  It's not a chance to unite in some unspoken act of solidarity to bear bellies, wear short skirts, and bright makeup, just because one doesn't have the confidence to do it the other 364 days of the year.  No,  costumes historically were disguises.

We dress up to camouflage ourselves against the demonic spirits that freely walk on the eve of the saints' day, the night where they are arguably the most bitter for being defied by the true power that nurtures us so that we may survive in enemy territory.  We dress as we imagine they look, to move under the radar (classic examples are witches, ghouls, vampires, zombies, and so on).

The night of the dead is a practice found world-wide, which ought to bear witness to even the unbelievers, and it's time that we consider ourselves before our neighbours, and before God.

This should not be about parties, but it is, because this is what Satan wants: we put ourselves in positions where we cannot listen to Jesus, "Keep sober and alert, because your enemy the devil is on the prowl like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5.8.   It is also not about trick-or-treating.  Truly, Samhain is so deceptive and insidious; remember, it is the children who were the prime sacrifices.

Rather, this is about one of the most evil, if not the most evil, night of the year, and about God's love reminding us that he has once and for all that is is HE who is victorious, giving us an entire month of honouring the dead of God's children - not Satan's.

Thanks be to the final supreme sacrifice to end all sacrifice, that has given us All Saints' Day (November 1st).  Let the real celebrations begin.


Sources for Purgatory month:
November pray

Holy souls in purgatory

Sources for child/human sacrifice
Druid sacrifice revealed
Human sacrifice on Samhain
Preparations for Samhain
Brief summary
Child sacrifice in Africa
Reports of sacrifice at the Vatican and LDS Temple
Human sacrifice
Celtic human sacrifice

Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit = idolatry

Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is to deny God, and to also accredit lesser gods (or demons) to the good works/miracles that actually come from God.  This, is idolatry, as defined by the Catholic Church, and is the one unforgivable sin, as stated in the Catechism:

"Idolatry not only refers to false pagan worship. It remains a constant temptation to faith. Idolatry consists in divinizing what is not God. Man commits idolatry whenever he honors and reveres a creature in place of God, whether this be gods or demons (for example, satanism), power, pleasure, race, ancestors, the state, money, etc. Jesus says, 'You cannot serve God and mammon.' Many martyrs died for not adoring 'the Beast' refusing even to simulate such worship. Idolatry rejects the unique Lordship of God; it is therefore incompatible with communion with God."

We see two famous stories of idolatry in the Gospels, where Jesus warns us of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit,  Matthew 12.32, and the second most common warning in Mark 3.22.

And yet, people do not recognize that idolatry is at the heart of this unforgivable sins.

Now, I do not have the answers (yet!)  I have fallen victim to idolatry in my yoga practices, and I know not if I can be forgiven.  Does the one unforgivable sin mean that it is only unpardonable if we die before repenting?  What about the Church teaching that once we stand before God, in our purest form (the soul), we will choose Christ?  What then?

What I do know, is that most every one has fallen victim to the idolatry that is the curse inherited from Adam's Fall.  Only few will find and take the the narrow gate; the rest will succumb to idolatry, and typically not even realize it.

The greatest and most overt example of idolatry is within the growing popularity of yoga.  In 2008, tens of millions of people practice(d) yoga in the United States alone, with over a million Canadians practicing in 2003. (Ibid).  Imagine what that statistics are in 2011!

This, of course is hard to accept, even for the Catholic.  It is important when taking the narrow path that is requested of us, that we still follow Jesus' commandments, and also to remember what it truly means to love our enemies.  Jesus was not exclusive; though he came only for the lost sheep of Israel, anyone of faith was healed.

It is a fine line between apostleship and radicalism, condemning and warning. But more importantly, there is the maturation of the gift of discernment that is bestowed upon us at baptism.  We must pray for the grace so that God may strengthen our ability to know good from evil, and to know who that lost are, and who we are not meant to minister as Christ's disciples.

The real problem in (kundalini) yoga right now, is the failure to recognize that everything is God's will: even when it is us who are preforming the miracles, and making us seem God-like. And even though the Japji states that everything is in God's will, the yogi believes that the power is his, because he is God.  This is the most common iniquity committed by man since the beginning (Original Sin), and the reason why we suffer still.  Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit must be the centre of the Christian's focus when practicing yoga (even the yogis).

The consequences of idolatry have been made known to us for thousands of years, and even the complacent and ignorant are not absolved of their offences. If we want to break the generational curse of Adam, we must recognize the Christ, our True God; there is no other way.

Yoga and the Antichrist

John prophecised in Scripture that the Antichrists have come, and will continue to do so (1 Jn 2.18), while advising that "There are many deceivers at large in the world, refusing to acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in human nature.  They are the Deceiver; they are the Antichrist." (2 Jn 7)

Jesus himself warns us of the grave danger that we are to face, "False Christs and false prophets will arise and produce signs and portents to deceive (even) the elect...You, therefore, must be on your guard.  I have given you full warning." (Mark 13.22-3)

I have been seduced by the Antichrist, but as St. Paul was knocked right off of his horse on his way to Damascus to commit sin, so too was I knocked down on my way to becoming a yoga master, right at the beginning of my teacher training program in the autumn of 2008.  This is why I feel such a strong connection to the dangers of the New Age, though I did not understand until this month the mission that God has been preparing me for.

I am now working to release my bondage from Satan, as I repent for the times I would hold asanas to demons and lesser-gods, and for chanting blasphemy.   Even if I was unaware of what I was doing; ignorance is no defence (Ps 8.2), as well as for my inherent offences against God for the generational curse of my ancestors’ iniquity in practicing the occult (idolatry), “I punish a parent’s fault in the children, the grandchildren, and the great-grandchildren among those who hate me.” (Ex 20.5).

The primal reason, the primitive reason, why yoga is the leading destructive force in the insidious New Age movement, is because it swiftly and accurately ushers in the Antichrist; it comes from the same seed that allowed for the first violation against God ever to be committed: idolatry - the worship of the self, over the respect due to the one who created us.  Indeed, New Age is not new - it is merely an exotic form of the forbidden fruit of the one and only rule that God had set for us in the Garden of Eden.

Yoga takes us away from God, by telling us that we are God, which empowers us and makes for an appealing teaching.  As God, we are perfect: we do not fault, we have no need to repent, we never die, we can control the weather, we can move mountains - and not with faith in God, but simply with faith in ourselves and our own "divinity".  Yoga claims to be spiritually superior, but what it really does is prey on the vulnerable.

Yogi Bhajan, my former master's master, who passed the year before I walked into my first yoga class, brought Kundalini Yoga to North America in the late 1960's.   Yogiji, as his followers call him,  was allegedly prophecised by the Hopi Indians to establish peace and unity on earth.  But I now argue that he is in truth an Antichrist, and the most powerful one this world has thus far witnessed.

This guru was attractive, charming, charismatic, intelligent, and persuasive; he even got away with telling his students that they are filthy on the inside.  Some of his lectures were so crass and cruel, that I would often have to stop reading them.  This is just one way in how yoga is contradictory (and should be a red-flag, but naturally is not).  In one class we're being taught that we are perfect, and in another we are being told we're ugly on the inside: fakes behind our spotless white garments that symbolize purity.

It is pressing that us Catholics recognize the dangers of yoga, and also be vigilant of New Age philosophies that are seeping into some of our priest's homilies.  It is time to ask for courage to become a Jeremiah, and to watch out for our brothers and sisters who are leaving the flock to pursue a life of idolatry - the one grave sin that Jesus says is unforgivable (Mk 3.29), yet which tens, maybe even hundreds by now, of millions of North Americans have been recorded of practicing.

And yet naturally it is challenging to understand the dangers of yoga, because it makes one feel attractive: it gives one confidence, strength, and esteem.  But the devil makes us feel good, this is why we usually do not recognize his ways.

Satan makes us feel like limitless gods - until he calls his debt in.

As Jesus says, you have been warned.

The essentials in being human

What I've learnt so far in the summer of 2011 (an on):

1) Being in pools, lakes, oceans (playing in water)
2) Amusement parks (going on rides)
3) Mosh pits

"Welcome"

From new indie band of St. John's, Newfoundland, Hey Rosetta!

The first time I heard this song, I only really picked up on the line about being 33 years old, because that's my age.  I felt guilt, because my immediate interpretation was, "everything (I) wanted and tried to be has been pulled apart because of MY fear and greed."

But when I saw Hey Rosetta!  at Downsview Park on Canada Day, one of their last songs was "Welcome", and it gave me chills, as though I was high.  Suddenly, I realized that this is my song to feel inspired, not my song to feel shame because of any fault through my own doings!  Maybe it sounds strange to identify with this song as "mine", but the embarrassment that I felt at the aforementioned lyric, and the upliftment of how I now interpret it after seeing them perform live, is truly strong.  This is MY song!

After the lyrics, I posted a flawless performance by the group during the South By South East festival at the beginning of the summer.  Enjoy :)

You'll be a bright light, coming out of the dark.
All the doctors, blinking hard.
You'll be lightning, coming out of the storm.
It's a message; it's a miracle.

You will do alright.
You've got your mother's eyes.
You've got your daddy's head;
everything thing you need for this hard ride
they'll be strapping you on.
All the ups and downs, and you can't get off.

There's trouble we're handing off
and you've got to do better than us.

It will be alright.
You've got lots of time.
You've got your daddy's love,
everything you want.

I can feel you, and what you're going to be.
You'll be stronger, you'll be smarter than me.

Oh baby, I'll say it again:
You're the most incredible thing.

I'm sorry, this is it.
It's cold and hard and badly lit,
and there's no backing out of it.

So forget where you've been.
It will never be that good again;
we must only look ahead.

And soon you're 33,
and everything you tried to be
is pulled apart by fear and greed.

But young hands could build you up,
and carve your face in honest rock,
sunlight on your noble jaw.

Young hands build you up...

I'm happy that you've come along.

Hey Rosetta! performing "Welcome"

On guard for thee

Whatever happened to just standing on guard for thee?

 From today's Globe and Mail:

"Canada is more...than hockey, saying ‘eh’ a lot, and drinking Tim Hortons coffee".  I'm conflicted on this belittlement of (fun) national identity.

First of all, it's the beholders' own folly for ignoring (or making conclusions based on ignorance) our incredible and accomplished history.  Who doesn't know that we burned down the White House?   Canada IS in fact known to have excellent hard power, despite the US making fun of us for being, and I quote Homer Simpson, the "younger brother, who, by the way, has never had a girlfriend".

In trying to show we are not just soft power, (which apparently is how we define Peacekeepers who gang up on and  beat civilians to death), we're sending out a very clear message to the world stage that we ARE in fact aggressive; but this is already completely obvious!  We riot over hockey, for crying out loud.  How does puffing out our chest and implying that we are ready to fight benefit us?  This only puts us on the radar.  What are we trying to prove, and to whom?

Now in terms of the Monarchy, as a once dominate culture (which I personally hail from), that has now become the minority to what appears to be Eastern Europeans, whom, from what I have observed, consider Canada to be second-rate to their homeland and don't really seem to want to be here, I really don't have a problem with returning back to the entire foundation of this awesome country.  But then where does this leave Quebec?  The French helped to make this country interesting and unique, and it is crucial to work with the Separatists, whilst not alienating those who do in fact respect the Empire.

On the flip side to my disagreement of our exertions, Harper is brilliant for funding our presence in the North, and I am extremely grateful for his timely insight and action; this is standing on guard, literally, which is, in my opinion, is the most noble form of patriotism.  

In closing, can we not just be left to train for defence: we already know we are amazing, must we flaunt pearls before swine? 

Harper spins a new form of patriotism

Masks

I was on a date with a guy who I had (foolishly) put a lot of stock into, and on our strange and final night together, he began talking to me about the masks that people wear.  The self-consciousness in me immediately assumed he was referring to a fakeness in my character, but in retrospect, I think that he was saying in a roundabout way, that he's actually a dick.

This got me thinking about masks.  We're taught in school that we all have different "personalities", or roles: child (daughter/son), student, friend, and so on.  For years, my yoga training has been to reverse these stigmatizations and suffocations in our characters - to be consistent: to both balance the polarities, and to grow steadfast in our characters.

I have had a very interesting (and amazing!) long weekend.  After a series of events, I realized that I am not as steadfast as I thought I was: that I am very well wearing masks, and they switch around depending on the company that I am in.

When I am nervous and shy around people who I don't know, I  can come across very meek, sunny, and sweet, even.  But when I am around people who I am comfortable around, I can be like ice:  condescending, sarcastic, even quite mean at times.

I realized, after months of trying to understand my character flaw of nervousness, that this is why I can be awkward in unfamiliar, or even familiar, places.  Deep down, I know that there is a discord in my character - something that I am refusing to address, even to myself.

I had the heebie-jeebies when going to sleep last night.  I imagined myself talking to Jesus, and I saw that I needed to let go of any "dark" or "heavy" feelings that I LIKE holding onto; feelings that, in a way, I feed off of.  I truly believe that this is the only way at this time, that I can begin to feel more relaxed.

I do not believe that I am to let go of all desire to fight, whether it be an idea, a fantasy, or even myself, but harbouring these feelings of negativity are only presenting one view of the world to me - that we are all evil, depraved, and fake; that when push comes to shove, we would feed off our own family members to survive.

What horrible thoughts I have!  Being in socially opposite situations this part long weekend, where in one place I felt like a stranger, and the other place I felt more at home, I saw that I will see what I want to see, but more importantly, that I can control the way I interpret things.

And though I have blood-lust, we all do, this only creates a feeling of defence and otherness, which I suspect leads to awkwardness, stiffness.

 Rolling in the deep

Feel my truce

I've been campaigning against the Freemasons for about half a year now.  

But a thought came to me this afternoon after remembering that my household has yet to submit our census, and it's gotten to the point that they are visiting routinely to remind us that it's federal law to fill it out.

I've been hating on Masons, and for the most part, I feel righteous and solid in my efforts - it is a corrupt organization, even the mafias don't want to get caught up with these mysterious creatures.

But because it is so valued, confusing, layered, concealed, systematic, and feared, I've had a pretty rich life, and no, I'm not talking financially, more so in terms of soft power - I can not submit my census, and not even really care about it, for example.

It is time to focus my anarchy elsewhere, because my problems with the Masons (More so Illuminati), are mine alone.  I've met two or three people online who are in this one percent of the world's population, and it's not so much that I am fighting a losing battle, because in Satan's world, there really isn't any winning until we are released in death, but more so I need to put efforts toward more relatable ills - like government - people who tell me I need to fill out a census, especially when it's been proven to be discriminatory.

Did we not hate Caesar?  Do we love taxes?  Do we really want to be told what to do, kept belittled, isolated, and afraid?  Ontario is probably one of the worse places in the free world to live in, and it has definitely shaped me into the Black Bloc advocate who I have become after witnessing the G20 summit in my city a year ago, so why am I focussing on something so elusive that has really only helped shape me into the warrior that I want to be?

Our politicians might be corrupt and evil, but that doesn't mean that the lodges where they smoke cigars are as well.  I have bigger fish to fry, and I'm ready to make peace with the people who actually run the show from backstage. 

Moment of Clarity 

Uninspired

I have three hours to get my monthly blog out, but I have been in a state since the beginning of spring that has left me so spiritually and creatively strained, the past few blogs have just been like fighting myself to get them out.

So, here is a list of things that I am hoping to write about in the near future.

1) Freemasons are evil, and it will take a water war for us to even begin considering who they really are, and what they truly represent.

2) Angels are messengers, and do not have wings.  Lesser gods are co-creators, and we are currently in the reign of Satan.

3) The Christ will not begin to be recognized until the Masons, mostly from the political side that we know as Protestantism, begin to fall.

4) How the institution of the Eucharist is the main line of defence against sorcery. 

I will leave you with a YouTube that someone posted on my Facebook wall.  Enjoy!

Angels and Aliens

For whatever medieval reason, Blogspot doesn't allow coding that will show links in new windows.

Little gods

I’ve been contemplating (or warring in my head, whichever) Catholicism and New Age, specifically (Kundalini) Yoga, and their similarities and differences. This is because I have been led to believe that the two schools are incompatible, but I through years of dedication have found concrete similarities.

What I consider to be the greatest factor that both links and severs the two theologies, is the topic of divinity: who has it, who can get it, and who is just shit out of luck.

The biggest connection on the topic of divinity in the Bible and in Yoga, is in the Book of Wisdom, which says that we are created to be immortal. However, there is no further canonical explanation (that I have found), which is perhaps how our recognition of divinity dwindled off by the time the New Testament came around.

And though Catholics beatify humans, and elect them as divine, it is really only in the Eastern Churches where we see a dialogue on theosis - the deification of man - and even then we recognize only those who have performed miracles. Yoga, on the other-hand, says that we're all misled gods.

In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he states that Satan is the god of this world, and in his letter to the Hebrews, he claims that Jesus was made lesser than the angels.  And incidentally, this is why we observe Lent - the Temptation of the Christ in the desert.

Is it possible that to be a god is to be a co-creator? Humans are called co-creators in Catholicism, because they make little humans. If humans are lesser than the angels, then imagine what a lesser god could create!

It would be so much easier to feel more comfortable in our mortality, in understanding the evil that we do unto others, in the unseeable that we claim to know as Truth, and in the emptiness that we all ultimately feel, if we understood what it means to be a god, a saint, an angel, a demon, a host of the Holy Spirit…

Imagine if we had it all wrong about Yahweh and his status as "Primal Source", or "Father". If humans are co-creators, and if angels can fall, then why wouldn’t anyone question if Satan is the one who made this world? After all, this is his world, and there is more than one reference to his status in scripture.

Unfortunately, there are pretty much no texts on this anymore, even though angelology and demonology was an academic study during the Renaissance. Regardless, I believe that it’s time to “Fear the Lord” as that term is meant to be used – to respect that there is something greater than us, uncontrollable, and unpredictable. And why not - we see this in the simplicity of the weather nearly every day!

So if we "respect" the Lord, instead of "fear" him, perhaps we can start to question what I for one consider to be grossly important in living a peaceful and justified life. I am pretty sure if we did have some access to feed inquisitive minds, even if it could only be through our own pondering and dialogue with each other at this time, we would be a lot more similar, a lot more gnostic, and a lot more god-like than we’d at this time like to admit.

The Sick

A week ago I was at my family doctor’s to have a cyst looked at, so that I may be referred to a specialist.  Both doctors have seen me about this reoccurring issue, but the last one was in 2002, and my family doctor does not have the record anymore, so I needed to be re-assessed. 

I left without a ‘script, as it didn’t appear infected, as with the previous two times.  Still though, I was warned that there could be a waiting list to see this doctor who in theory can help me.  The specialist said that if this happened again, he would sew the pocket up. 

Now it is infected, and I have heard nothing yet this past week, not even that the specialist was contacted.  Fortunately, I have a great dermatologist, and I remembered this past long weekend that he can most likely help me, as he treated cyst-like pimples on my chin when I went through an awkward phase of adult acne on my chin in my mid-late twenties.  He is a great doctor, and one of the few who I trust as well.

So after calling him this morning, his assistant, who is just about as awesome as he is, made an appointment for me for tomorrow morning – even the very earliest one so that I won't be late for work!  Thank you God, because I need help fast now, no more messing around.  I can tell that it is starting to get infected, all of the old signs are back, inability to walk, sit, or lie down in any comfort whatsoever.  I look like I am in pain, even though I am trying not to.  Even my chameleon talents aren’t sufficing now.

The past week, along with the inability to get help due to the long weekend (Even though it was Easter – praise be to God!), I realized that for 33 years, I have never not been able to get a doctor.  I am one of the most healthy people who I know, yet I have nine doctors saved on my phone.  Now I understood what it is like to need medical assistance, and to not be able to get it.

I spent the past week and weekend, in my own disbelief of this very potent stress on a very delicate part of my body, and my inability to get it looked at, also thinking about the millions, maybe even billions, of people who cannot get aid when they are sick.  For the first time, I have a new compassion for a new cause – our health care systems. 

The sick.

We have all been sick, even if just with the common flu, which is in itself incredibly painful and toiling.  Can we really imagine what it would be like to not be comforted, relieved, or cared about when we are at our most vulnerable?  Maybe I needed to be in this position to understand.  Maybe we can only feel compassion through that same experience that leads to the pity, or maybe we are not all meant to fight the same causes, but rather disperse and fight what we can, due to our own interest and thereby allocated energies.

So I now have a new grassroots cause, and right on time.  A couple of times my penance has been to pray for the sick, and next Sunday I begin to administer the communion to the sick after Sunday Mass.

So many people are talking about this "cosmic consciousness".  There IS no consciousness!  God help us if those of us who recognized this are attached, bound down, by these New Age idiots.  If we were all connected, how can we be so oblivious from the one thing that actually IS common - getting sick, needing help in recovery, and for a lot of us, not getting that.

The scandal in Parliament

Below is a letter that I just wrote to one of my best friends, after a quasi-debate with him last night regarding a scandal that helped to cause a non-confidence vote, spiralling  Canada into an election, less than three years since the last one. (Along with the requirement to dissolve our government on the same day that we led a NATO mission in one of the most violent places on earth right now).  After verifying the facts with my would-be political co-worker, this is what I wrote:

"I verified what happened with the scandal in Parliament.  It was in fact a matter of question phrasing. 

Bev Oda was asked who signed the document, and she said 'I don't know' because she passed the document off to one of her assistants, or whoever it is that is a level below who does that sort of administration.

The second time, which caused the scandal, the question was, 'Who commissioned it', to which she answered, 'I did'.

They were two totally different questions, but the public was led to believe they were the same, and that she back-peddled.  Do you really believe that our Prime Minister, Conservative or Liberal, would allow perjury?  Especially with a ton of witnesses? 

As you don't believe that I should choose a party for it's ideology, but rather follow individual politicians, I don't believe that you should listen to the media, over what is said in Parliament.  If you care so much about what is being said on the Floor, you should watch channel 71 instead of channel 3.

And the Green Party will drive this country into a chaotic mess.  Europe will fall in 10 - 20 years, because of their beyond liberal ideologies.  The Green party, or even NDP, do not deserve a place in Parliament.

We will never not be at war; I will make sure that I at least support a party who will protect our country and our soldiers.  All Liberals will go to war, even the Green party (Several years ago when I supported them, I still noticed they took no side: and you know what they say about those who don't take a stand).  Liberals, though, are hypocrites - sheep in wolves clothing.  They will send our soldiers, but they will send them unsupported, to die."

Who is strong enough to be US' neighbour?  Only those who are not afraid to look like assholes.  Stand for nothing, fall for anything.  We need a leader, and thanks for a poser coalition - that wants to take power, not earn it - we have civil servants running one of the biggest counties in the world during a time of war.  Amazing.

Zero

I saw on CNN this evening fourth and fifth generation Americans protest the building of a mosque a couple of blocks away from Ground Zero.

These people argue that Muslims are terrorists, that their culture and religion will be compromised, and that constructing an Islamic site near where the World Trade Centers once stood is a mockery to the 9/11 victims.

Rather, I think that we only began to notice Muslims ten years ago, and now it’s time to realize that they are also American, and need a place to gather.  In fact the right to assemble is basic democracy.

I do sympathize with the older generations who ultimately know nothing other than their own ancestry - that since their grandparents are buried down the street, it is “their” neighbourhood.  I understand that this is a shift in their own backyards, and change is frightening.  Being frightened is being vulnerable.  And being vulnerable make us all too aware of our own mortality.

Ultimately though, what these people are protesting is not only the unrefined animal characteristic of hoarding (which is also defined as a mental illness), but also their sense of entitlement is so great, that they ignore, forget, or are simply unaware, of why they are even in America in the first place.

North America is the poor man’s land.  We are ALL here to live in a dignity that we did not have access to before.  Some obtain much more than a survivor’s wage, and some don’t make it off the streets, but no one on this continent should be exempt from humility, meekness, compassion, and of course, obtainment.

I have judged Muslims, I have believed that they are wrong in their faith, that they hate Westerners, that they think Western women like me are whores before God.  But then I realized that I was projecting.

We must accept that this is no one’s land, not really.  Where on this earth did we develop this ridiculous sense of entitlement?  We are forever at war.  At least one war every ten years.  If a country more powerful invaded, this would become their land.  Then what do we really have?

I am not a liberal: in fact I am voting for Harper in May, and encourage all Canadians to do the same.  I am no humanitarian, I am merely a woman - a woman in a sexist, depraved, insulting, undermining, and perverted world, where not much is fair or justified.  A world where Muslim women across the Atlantic have to cover themselves from head to toe like how Europeans once did, lest they be raped.

A passion of mine is women’s rights.  I found something in me that could separate the line socially sketched between me and the orthodox Muslim woman.  I began to understand why we do things one way, and why they do things another way, and that we are not really that different after all.  I believe that in a couple of generations, we will grow more and more alike.  Western women will become more dignified, and Muslim women will begin to feel safe and shed a layer of material or two.

   

If we do not find something in us that can identify with the “other”, then we will always feel violated, always feel that we must gather, prepare, scheme, defend, fight - that we will win or lose.  What kind of existence is that?  We will forever exist within a zero, within nothingness.

America is for everyone, and I have it on good authority that if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere.  So now what.

The Word

My yoga teacher went out of his way to invite me to a workshop that he put together for Saturday, which was about the Shabad Guru, (intelligent) sound that helps us to transform into god-like beings; we understand this as mantras in meditation.

I told him that I had previous engagements, but that I was interested in learning more, as I did not learn it to my satisfaction in teacher training.  Out of desire to please my teacher, mixed with a bit of self-consciousness, I said that I could only make the last two hours, including this information knowing that there would be no point in attending when the workshop was from 9 am to 6 pm.

He then contacted me a third time by the end of the day on Friday (the first was through e-mail, the second a phone call, and the third in a text message), saying to just make it for the end.  So, rather begrudgingly, I accepted the invitation, I was surprised to see the lengths that he was taking just to contact me.

I arrived for the last hour and a half, and I walked in at the end of an exercise that the girls were doing (and it is a tough one for me, since I have a curve in my lower back, I was glad to have missed it).  Then we started a meditation where we sat on our left heel, had the right foot planted on the ground with the knee pointing toward the ceiling, and the arms stretched out in front, fingers stretching forward.

We chanted an advanced mantra that I learned in teacher training, but never memorised.  It’s called Chattra Chakkra Vartee.  We each had a sheet, and I placed mine on my left thigh, and  then pretty much gave up on it.  I was so upset to be in this horrible posture that was probably not good for my ballet muscles. and tendons.  I also acquired an injury in my shoulder blade in ballet about two years ago, working with my port de bras wrong (movement of the arms), and this posture was really pulling on that; I had also just come from a ballet class, so it was probably already a little inflamed. 

The meditation just wouldn’t end.  Every time we finished the stanza, we went again.  After about ten minutes, I wanted to take a break, storm out, curse my teacher...I was so angry.  But he has devoted his life to this yoga and is a master; which means you simply do not fail when you are before him.  I shot frustration from my eyes at him, he tilted his head, widened his eyes, and in this sing-song energetic voice bellowed out the first line commencing yet another round.  I just laughed, released a bit, and truly began to chant.  He always seems to make it better.

I called upon the strength to breathe into stress points, which I fully realized in White Tantric.  When I had to do a day long meditation event during TT, I suffered in the last hour of meditation.  I didn’t want to give up though, because the entire point of white tantric is to join energy fields in a “Z” like formation, and to not break it.  I told myself, that day the pain came from God, and I was simply going to give it back to him, and it worked.  I again just rested into the awkward position, and it did get better.  Note: now that I am a Catholic, I am not certain anymore that pain comes from God, but I will definitely let him take it away from me!

At the end of the Shabad Guru workshop, we were given about ten minutes to write a poem on the Word, and our experiences that day.  Since I was only there for that meditation (less another one that isn't really blog-worthy), I wrote about the release from the pose during the workshop topic, the sacred mantra, thanks to breathing, and the spirit:, and lastly, on the true Word - Jesus Christ.  That last one went over interestingly, but maybe I was just projecting.  My yoga teacher talking about the BS about Christianity the next day at the beginning of Sunday yoga class tells me not, though.

Ultimately, I wrote this blog on paper in the laundromat yesterday, as a sort of background to my poem that I wanted to share, though now I am thinking that it is a little too dark and revealing at this time. 

But what I experienced in meditation is a reminder to the strength and the frailty of the human body and mind.  Though we should always know what we are chanting, the act reminds me that our souls will always remain untouched, for it is God’s alone, and that the Word can remove our blocks and heal us.  Truly, the Word is the battle cry of the saints: their blood, sweat, and tears shed, given back to God.

The Church and the New Age movement

Response from A Christian reflection on the New Age, and the official document from the Vatican.  (They do not open in a new window).

Note: New Age is defined by the Vatican as "ancient Egyptian occult practices, Cabbalism, early Christian gnosticism, Sufism, the lore of the Druids, Celtic Christianity, mediaeval alchemy, Renaissance hermeticism, Zen Buddhism, Yoga and so on...(and) is not, properly speaking, a religion, but it is interested in what is called 'divine'...(with a) preference for Eastern or pre-Christian religions".  This article will be using yoga as the subject when addressing the New Age movement. 

I became a yogi before I became a Christian.  And though I am now trying to become the best Catholic, a saint really, I don't want to turn my back on Eastern approaches to God, though I no longer practice yoga in any religious way.  The Vatican accuses people like me of cherry-picking, but I know that I am true, and that there is no harm in growing as a physical and spiritual entity through both avenues.  That said, New Age is very much closer on the side of the anti-Christ than not, and it has taken me years to learn how to balance what is outside of Christ, to bring me closer to Christ.

I started yoga strictly as a cross-trainer for dance, and I was only looking for something inexpensive, while being entirely oblivious to any sort of teaching.  I found a class that ran for 10 weeks or so at a middle school that is supported through Toronto Parks and Recs.  I sat in a dirty lunch room, completely disillusioned with what I assumed yoga was after seeing Madonna endorse it.  I will never forget my future spiritual teacher telling us, "you have no idea what you signed up for".  I then began the rest of my life.

Kundalini yoga taught me how to feel better about God through learning to be compassionate, through clarity, through strengthening my intuition by the training of mysticism; it taught me how to sit and meditate, which now helps with my Christian prayer life, it taught me about living holistically and to be a part of the environment, not against it; it even taught me to bless my food and to give thanks!  It truly served my deepest and neglected spiritual needs, so after I achieved my desired flexibility, I stayed.  I even went into teacher training; but it was there that I became Christian-bound, through no real choice of my own, but through God's.

It is important to note, that while I can understand why yoga is attracting so many people, I did not come from a church, so my eagerness might have been more susceptible to  yogic philosophies than someone who is rooted in a Christian background.

Though I have heard for years that the body itself retains memories, I only realized during the recent Advent that the asanas (postures) in yoga heal our bodies on the unconscious level, because when we experience distress, our bodies store that information forever, even if we don’t always physically experience pain at that moment of burden.  So asanas are specifically designed to release that stored up pain, in hope that when practiced honestly, we might release from our own limitations and become something greater than we are.  And when we finish with a meditation and centre ourselves after the yoga (this is at least how it is practiced in kundalini), God will speak to us: he will give us clues to what we are seeking.

With my desire to practice yoga, and my desire to be a mystic in the Church, I am interested in what the Vatican says about the New Age worldview.  Below are points that the Church documents against yoga, with my response.

Argument: Yoga is an “either/or” system - that we must choose between Christ or Aquarian (Age of Aquarius).

Response: I too once believed that it was either yoga or Jesus.  This either/or teaching does seem to be a problem in that yoga  is supposed to be of healing and reconciliation, however there is overt opposition to the Abrahamic religions, mostly Christianity, probably because a huge percentage of practitioners are (or were) Christians who feel (or felt) disconnected from God.  Yoga teaches that secrets kept hidden for millennia will be revealed in the Age of Aquarius, (which is a move from the Age of Pisces, the sign of the fish (Jesus).   But of course, Jesus said that all which is hidden will come to light as well.

Argument: New Age involves spiritual masters, and quotes Luke 16.13 which states that man can not have two masters.

Response: The very next sentence in this passage, in that same verse, clearly demonstrates that Jesus was talking about money!  "You cannot be the slave of both God and of money."  I find it discouraging and disingenuous to assume that we do not know better of the teaching.

Argument: i) New Age teaches a connection (or being “in tune”) with nature, ii) which blurs the lines between good and evil. 

Response: i) Being in tune with nature is essential in winning God's praise, for he created a symbiotic world that requires our respect, and it's really for our own benefit.

ii) Yoga does in fact blur the lines between good and evil.   In yoga we are taught that we are  all-good, which of course makes us feel wonderful, but in truth, this is a dishonest teaching (and possibly even a technique used to attract us).  Yoga does downplay our bad choices, and those choices such as murder, rape, sadism, and funding war while our neighbours starve, are beyond making "mistakes" - they are demonic.  However yoga rejects Satan, and instead teaches that we need to release from our dualistic nature, which is a false teaching, for we are dual - life is a constant struggle of choosing good over bad. 

Argument: Yoga gives tools to improve our way of life through self healing, which states that we have the power within ourselves, and thus do not need God's grace.

Response: I do not believe that yoga denies God, however the pantheistic belief in yoga does suggest that we are not dependent on his mercy.  As in the Vatican's concern with the blurring of boundaries, there is also concern as to who or what God is in the New Age movement, possibly because it is an eclectic mix of belief systems that has furthermore been Westernized, and is still not defined as a religion.  Since there is constant reference to divinity, there should be boundaries. Who are we in communion with?  We should know this.

Argument: (copy and pasted from Wikipedia)

* The cosmos is seen as an organic whole, animated by an Energy, Soul or Spirit
* Credence is given to the mediation of various spiritual entities
* Humans are assumed capable of ascending to invisible higher spheres
* A "perennial knowledge” pre-dates and is superior to all religions and cultures
* People are encouraged to follow enlightened masters.

Response: I will simply state here, and welcome argument, that this is identical to Christianity.

Argument: Yoga teaches that God is in us, and that we are one with God - that we have a divine "spark".

Response: Catholicism teaches that we once had immortality, but that we lost it when our first parents sinned in the Garden of Eden (ie. we lost our inheritance).  God then came to us in the form of Jesus, to establish the sacrament of baptism, which washes away the Original Sin, re-opening our connection to God, and life everlasting.

In closing, the real problem that the Vatican is facing, is that Christians are leaving their faith to pursue paganism, and that is concerning to the bride of Christ (the Church).  People who are spiritually weak are leaving the Light of Christ to dabble in the occult, and that is dangerous.

But with yogis who can remain true to the Christ, we can still aspire to be as perfect as our Father in heaven, because yoga can be a tool to cultivate the gift of discernment, as given by the Holy Spirit, and help to release us from the evil that keeps us from righteousness.  As the Vatican hopes might happen, it is possible that in response to the New Age movement, we can effectively spread the Good News once more, and I think, even better than before!

St. John of the Cross, pray for us.

Ballet, God, and me

I did pointe work for the first time last night. The pain was almost unbearable.  I am not sure that I will be able to do it.  I am going to try taping my toes next week (I already have "ouch pads" for my big toes), and maybe once my shoes break in, I get some muscle memory, and generally stronger, I will feel less defeated.

The studio where I am studying rents from an Anglican church.  It is a building that is attached to the church, and is a legitimate studio, with sprung hardwood floors, mirrors, and a barre that is drilled into the wall, but it is still church property.  As a result, there is religious detailing.  It just so happened that my pointe work was directly done under a crucifix.  I drew tremendous strength from that, I was in so much pain I didn't know if I could go on, and I wasn't sure if the distress that I was experiencing was normal.  I felt very alone, agéd, and confused, but I didn't want to give up.

I looked at the crucifix above me.  Jesus went through pain for others.  I am one of those others, and everything in my life I owe thanks to God.  In this age of "progress", it seems strange that I value God more than myself, however it goes both ways, for these topics of the divine is the only thing that makes my life make sense.  The mysteries of faith fuel me, uplift me, and in return, I hope that I may uplift others as well.

Starting pointe at 32 - to me, that is a miracle.  Starting pointe for the first time in front of a crucifix, that is a miracle.  In having faith in love and in God, and thus in myself, I gathered strength to do one more relevé, one more échappé.  I even stayed an extra forty-five minutes after class, into a TA's private lesson.  I stretched, recovered from my emotional ride, and got to cuddle with the church cat (a puffect black halloween cat), who laid on my chest as I did side splits against the wall.

I didn't even want to go to class after work, I was so depressed and I am not having the smoothest transition into my RAD training.  But now I feel like a warrior.

But other times, my life feels so erratic.  I do have a history of going full-force into a few different activities at once, and then not having much rest as a result.  These days, I am doing my best to keep myself in place and not as scattered - to recognize what I really want to do, and to accept that some things just have to wait.

I am better at focussing now.  Everything that I work on all relates to each other, and though there is so much that I want to do still, I am so grateful that what I can manage in a week all helps me in my efforts to live a peaceful existence, which is the only thing that I think really matters.

Ballet has (unintentionally) helped me to understand the Trinity, for it is a science that involves triangles (retiré, cou-de-pied), and crosses (en croix and croisé), the school of yoga that I practice is called "the yoga of (tri)angles", and I am becoming a teacher in the church and so I do not feel like my first choice of reading (anything of the church) is fruitless.  Everything is connected.

Everything is coming together, but it can be hard to believe that I am on the right path.  No man is an island, and I need all the help and compassion that I can get in this world.