From within

I've been directed more and more that God is within, and that He has all Power to heal and guide me.

This is very frustrating, as I have always "needed" teachers to lead me to information and knowledge. But I forget that wisdom comes from mystical experience, and these teachers or leaders are not the source, only God working through me is the Source.

And though I feel no more confident in understanding this, today I do in fact understand this to be true, for I have sincerely exhausted all spiritual paths. I am given drops of water to be relieved of complete spiritual death, but really, there are no more guides, it is critical that I start accepting and believing that God is really all I need. This drought is withering me up, I am finally desperate enough to sincerely meditate. My hope is that I may pass on my guidance, as I do believe that we receive in giving, and as with my Program, it is time for me to give back, and become a teacher myself. I have benefited from teachers, including philosophers, for (exactly) twenty years, take take taking. It's no wonder that while I was so passionate for decades, am now so dejected.

I have been re-introduced to Doreen Virtue. Before my Christian days, I did go to her to for inspiration, though I have never had an infinity to angels; in fact, I have always been weary of them. However, three days ago (the day of the solar eclipse, NOT a coincidence) I watched her weekly card reading, just stumbling upon it. and I was transformed, and truly, healed. I have taken that strength and carried it with me, which I believe to be God's blessing, for no Power is carried over into the next day, only through God's grace I am still strong from this reading. This is a sign for me that I am safe in my understanding and direction.

I haven't been in Virtue's circle for years, and when she referred to Christ in her video, I was happy, and thought it was so cool that she goes to an Anglican church. I thought, I don't remember her being a Christian. I even preordered her new book, which is daily affirmations rooted in the Bible.

Yesterday, I took a massive leap, and purchased her first deck of angel oracle cards. Then an hour later, I was shown that this year she took a huge change in direction, and renounced some of her work! From now on, the sales that she makes from her tarot cards, will be going to a Hay House (her publishers) charity, and in a years time, she will have her name entirely removed from them, and eventually they will be taken out of print (along with her Ascended Masters writings). This is really disappointing, and for me, just insane that I discovered this RIGHT after I made the purchase. However the silver lining is that this fascinating system will no longer "belong" to anyone, and this might benefit my studies if I do what I believe I am being called to do, which is to become a therapist/spiritual adviser.

I need to stop using people and things to be a means to an end, and only use them for a tune up. We go to God on our own, though today I do believe in angels, and know deep down that they are not some flaky new age invention. Angels really are messengers, guides, and the true lovers of God. I really hope to use angel therapy still, and maybe it can be the oil for the vehicle I travel by. I am hoping that Virtue can still be a guide for me, though from my own experience, no one ever truly comes back from a break the same way.

This blog has been called "From Within" for years. Maybe it's time I check in for messages, and being writing posts to reflect that.