Enoch

I had a friend from the Internet and we studied scripture together. We didn't focus on the same topics, but he was well versed in the Old Testament, and I was well versed in the New. However, he for the most part rejected Christianity. We got along amiably for years, we even talked in a round about way in forming our own belief system. He was so committed to his studies that he lived in the Middle East for years to aid in this research. Then he had real mental issues and things ended really badly for us. He attempted to reach out to me more recently, after I had to completely disconnect from him, to the point of even blocking him on Facebook. When he sent me a text message, as I said more recently, he cited PTSD. Something apparently happened in the Middle East, predominately Jordan from what I understand, but it was too late. I really do wish him well, but as someone who has been through the Twelve Steps, and who has done a thorough inventory and housecleaning, I knew that he was just sorry I blocked him, he wasn't really sorry for his behaviour, because he was still disconnected and ignorant to the root of his problem, and still playing the blame game. The sad truth is, I am certain that he had a psychotic break, though I can't know if it was before or after his relocation. 

I still really miss him, especially the past couple of days, where I have been inspired to delve once again academically into the scriptures. I really looked to him as a mentor, but it was never a balanced (working) relationship, he knew he was strong in his work, and he really believed  that I wasn't, and that I had nothing to bring to the table. He even accused me of using him, but I respected him greatly, and the truth was, he wanted more than a working relationship, he wanted to be romantic, and he disguised it in the form of wanting a "real" friendship - such as talking about personal issues, and even phone calls. This person was first in California, and then in the Middle East - there was no need for either, and I saw through it, but I still thirsted for his knowledge. 

But I am a different person now, I am confident, and for now, I can go it on my own. There are two things that have caught my attention recently, and re-sparked my love for real study of the scriptures and the traditions of Judaism and Christianity, however Judaism is an inclusive faith, and actually this is why he was such a valuable resource, he was nearly baptized as a Jewish convert. He had a wealth of information and could translate the Hebrew texts. He taught me a lot, but really, I have forgotten just about all of it. 

My first recent interest is the doctrine of purgatory. Protestants and Catholics tend to disagree on this teaching, the former denying it. This is a topic that I never studied before, I think it's pretty clear-cut, however in discussing it yesterday, I saw there was quite a bit to it that I was confused about, and even a woman who was doing really well in arguing for it kind of threw her arms up by the end of the debate, and really, I find this inspiring. My second interest is the Watchers, which are from what I have found thus far, best described in the apocryphal book of Enoch. This I have studied, this was my main area when I used to study with this man, and I think I was really strong in it, especially since I have a real talent in searching for information online. I even have an article on it, but it would be a hundred posts back by now, it was years ago. However I did title it "WIP" - Work in Progress, I knew it wasn't over. Now it's time for me to return to it, primarily because my current community is composed of born-again Christians, and I disagree with their fundamental assertions that Christ is the only way to heaven. In fact, I think they are treading down a dangerous path, and it is my intention to use the books of Enoch (there are three), to disprove them. 

I have the books in my cart on Amazon, and I am really excited, because this is my passion - to really study and write. I haven't done it in years, because like I said in my most recent post about card readings, I haven't been back in front of a computer in years. Four years, to be exact (the angel's number hahaha).

I miss having a mass spreading of literary resources sprawled in from of me, sheets of notes edited over and over, a Bible perpetually opened in my work space...This is a wonderful time for me once again.