Blessed are the meek

This is an article that I wrote exactly two months ago. I believed that I was going to get a dotcom site, and I had begun preparing articles for it. This is the third article that I wrote, and I thought it would be nice to post it for my April entry. Peace.

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Today I came to an important understanding in Christ’s words. While I understand that his beatitudes were to inspire and uplift, I now realize that the “have-nots” really are the inheritors of the earth. While meek does not mean poor, it does mean to be soft and gentle, and that is why this type does not usually make it big in the cut-throat world of industry. Ergo, the meek can easily get left behind in this world of commerce.

I have been working at a big department store, and it has turned my world view upside down. It has been an invaluable experience, because it has made me a better person. I can peacefully work with all sorts of personalities now, I am better in customer service than I have ever been (which is a talent in itself), I have grown in patience, because I have learnt that even the most annoying and mundane tasks can actually be beneficial to me and my time,  I dispelled a lot of my social fears and anxieties, I cultivated a discipline that earned me a fast track through the ranks, but most importantly, it connected me to life in a way that I deep down always wanted, but was too proud to take on.

I managed to stay where I have been the past year and a half, because of my co-workers, and even the managers. I love the camaraderie, and that feeling of unity has been the bright spot in my days. It doesn't matter what is going on in my body or mind when I get into work: the moment I see a peer, all is right in my world again. We find ways to survive, because the store is the epitome of capitalism, with its gilded floors and ceilings, overpriced merchandise for the credit card holders, and yet neglect, filth, and scarcity behind the curtains. I would often think to myself, why should I have a way out? What about the immigrants, the uneducated, the full-timers who are pushing into their second or even third decade, with very little benefits? I began to see the greedy, self-entitlement of the consumer, and the exhaustion of the worker, and the unrealistic expectations that are placed on us, when the boss is in a different country who tell us to do something, and then puts pressure on us to amend it.

So I began to identify less with my co-workers. I could not understand how they could work in such trying conditions, and I began to plan my way out. After speaking with a (rational) engineer though, I came to realize that, while it is easy to slip through the cracks in a big corporation, these jobs are in fact needed: they are therefore important, and there are valuable workers to heed the call. While a sales associate will not make the same salary as an administrator or manager, for example, we all have a right, regardless of our line of work or education, to have a sustainable income. We all have the right to clean and safe environments. Ultimately, this job has made me a socialist.

Today, this job has also helped me to understand part of what Jesus meant in his Sermon on the Mount. As the store continues to grow in capitalism, more high-end labels are coming in, and they are coming in on their own accord. The worker and the customer are in danger of getting left behind. The licencees have their own workers, and these workers either think they are in the class of the customer, or maybe they just never really grew up. I am now the only non-licencee working in this back area of the floor, which has seemed to make me vulnerable. The silent drama that I have experienced the past few days with them has been unlike anything I have ever experienced. Not even in elementary school have I been ostracized in this way. I have never witnessed such a vicious takeover. While the rejection lasted but a couple of weeks, after a licencee who remained neutral interceded on my behalf, it was an incredible lesson.

Now I know what Jesus really meant. The meek stick together. We form bonds, and we lift each other up, whereas the proud hurt each other, and step on the toes of their fellows. The meek ask each other how they are doing, but the proud ask each other what they are doing. The meek support and cover each other; the proud are distant and absorbed. The meek turn away from complaining; the proud feel it’s obligatory to complain. The meek are tired and weary; the proud are wired and looking to impress. The meek inspire and offer advice; the proud doubt and confuse. The meek are the ones who will show their faces when you are hurting; the proud are the ones who will look away.

This is why the meek are blessed, this is why we are happy even in our destitution, and this is how we keep going. God adores the meek, and prepares us a room in his mansion, and so, we need not be concerned about having one ourselves. We have already inherited the earth, so now we just want to make sure our guests feel comfortable. 

Real humility

I was at a meeting last week, and I was controversial. It really took even me by surprise; I have worked intentionally to neither cause waves, nor teach, nor marginalize. But I have been taken to a place in my recovery, where I truly understand the program. While sponsorship is imperative, it really is about a spiritual answer: a God answer. 

For me, this has always been why in our Traditions, we specify that we attract by our lives, rather than our words. We cannot force God onto anyone, that would be futile. Faith is between man and God alone, however, as the literature says, we must not shy away from the topic of God. 

After I preached, I felt uncomfortable; most of us who enter the program are bitter, and I must remember that I was no exception. But, by the grace of God, I wanted recovery badly enough, that I humbled myself enough to go to Layla and her group. Maybe I feel like I paid my dues, and now I know better than others, but maybe I really do have the real message now, as well. 

We then read pieces of Step Three from the Big Book, and I felt that we could have taken my preaching as the selfishness of the active alcoholic, for he is usually in opposition with someone else. I began to contemplate when is opposition a result of being self-serving, and when is it a result of being prophetic? In truth, I felt embarrassed. So I said, you know what, it can be hard, but I never stopped going to meetings, and that turned out to be my saving grace.

I had to think fast. Our Preamble says that we come to a turning point, and that we turn to His protection and care with COMPLETE abandon. God either IS or He ISN'T. What was our decision to be? This is verbatim, and yet, how easy it is to either gloss over it, or just be plain ignorant. Then people like me come, and look like the bad guy. But I came upon an article that Layla posted, and she reminded me what the Bible says:

"All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him off the cliff. But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way." ~ Luke 4:28-30

I must remember that the Lord said that I will be hated, for he was. but that does not change the Program. God either IS or He ISN'T, he is either the spiritual answer that has been lost in time, or your meetings are. But, will your meetings stay with you when you are fearful about your finances, or envious of your neighbour, or resentful at your government, or obsessed with your relationships? 

I can tell you from direct experience that God will heal us of those defects, and it takes a genuine Step Three, Six, Seven, Ten, and Eleven to do that. But, if you think the Steps are enough, you are wrong, for you are missing one constituent: humility. Humility, such a strange word, just as foreign as "Thy will be done." (Again, the Truth guiding the aforementioned Steps). I have heard time and again people say that they do not know what the word humility means, that they can't grasp the concept that it does not actually mean "embarrassment", or that they don't know what is "God's will". And yet, when people like me come along to tell them exactly what it means, they put their backs up. Why? 

Maybe it's because these people are not real alcoholics, or maybe their crash course isn't going in the direction of a real Step One. Either way, they are infiltrating our Fellowship. If they are the latter, we must pray for them to have the courage to walk in the "sunlight of the Spirit", but if they are the former, it is time to filter them out, before the founders are no longer known to us through direct contact of the old-timers, but are only known through books, leaving the fellowship vulnerable to Evil. 

Karma's a bitch

There is no salvation in karma, the governing principle in Eastern philosophy, for there is no true justice is this widely misunderstood doctrine. Those who have rejected their Christian birthright in the chase for serenity by seeing the "god within" have failed to see that karma is more a bitch than they can reckon with. 

By the very definition of karma, pain can never be relieved, and therefore evil can never be conquered: it is a vicious cycle, not a holistic one. The New Age movement completely and utterly fails to confront the fundamental flaw in the teachings of karma, which is the silent assertion that pain is deserved. 

Another serious flaw is the game of chance: in order for one's karma to come back to them, another must set up his karma to be consequently further corrected at a later time, by which another will set up her karma, and so on. For Jack's wrongs to be righted, Jill must be be his justice, while simultaneously becoming a victim, being setup for her intrusion on Jack to be avenged.

But the Westerner already had his victim and avenger, fully vindicating his entire and complete existence, through Jesus Christ, and yet we see more and more leaving the Son of God to proclaim some perverse self-demi-god nature. That, to me, is the poster-child of insanity. 

Light in darkness

"'Build up, build up, prepare the road!

Remove the obstacles out of the way of my people.'

For this is what the high and exalted One says - 

he who lives forever,

whose name is holy:

'I live in a high and holy place,

but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit,

to revive the spirit of the lowly

and to revive the heart of the contrite.

I will not accuse them forever,

nor will I always be angry,

for then they would faint away because of me - 

the very people I have created...

I have seen their ways,

but I will heal them...

Peace, peace to those far and near'

Says the Lord.

'And I will heal them'...

But the wicked are like the tossing sea,

which cannot rest,

whose waves cast up mire and mud.

'There is no peace', says the Lord,

'for the wicked.'"

Isaiah 57.14-6+18-21

Strength

"Prepare for war!

Rouse the warriors!

Let all your fighting men draw near and attack.

Beat your plowshares into swords

and your pruning hooks into spears.

Let the weakling say,

'I am strong!'

Come quickly all you nations from every side,

and assemble there...

Multitudes, multitudes

in the valley of decision!

For the day of the Lord is near

in the valley of decision."

Joel 3.9-11+14

Ash Wednesday

Today marks the beginning of Lent, and we receive our ashes, to remind us of the transience of this life.

Our bodies will return to the ground, but what of our souls? We use this time to purify ourselves, to seize an opportunity to better imitate Christ. There are three ways that we do this:  fasting, prayer, and almsgiving.

Fasting is the hardest for me. I do not eat much, and might even be a bit underweight, and yet, the idea of not eating however much I want, or when I want, is offsetting; possibly even frightening to me. 

But thanks be to God, I made it to Mass tonight to start this off right, and I am genuinely grateful for this opportunity to become better. While I have wanted to be more disciplined, I just did not have enough reason, but now, I am ready to be in the "desert", with the encouragement of a community. And then, Laura Secord Easter Eggs, baby!!

"Even now, says the Lord, return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; rend your hearts and not your clothing...Blow the trumpet in Zion; declare a fast; call a solemn assembly; gather the people. Sanctify the congregation; assemble the aged; gather the children, even infants at the breast. Let the bridegroom leave his room, and the bride her canopy."

Joel 2.12-3+15-6          

The kingdom of God is in our hearts

I have been struggling with my studies lately. My mind has been wandering unsupervised, and then after having a number of significant disappointments, which had been accumulating since early fall, drive all of my grand designs to a screeching halt this week, my weary being was officially exhausted.

I was to work at the bar tonight, and as soon as my shift started, I knew I was in trouble. I could barely get out of bed, I was just dreading my day starting. This winter weather also reaches its peak in February, which was just insult to injury. How was I going to "entertain" the regulars when I've been a blink away from tears?

When the expectations of the fruit of my labour does not ripen for the picking, my faith becomes weak. Being a Christian means sacrifice of self, so that we may merge with God. This is the way of the Cross. But when I am feeling dejected, and that there is nothing left to give, I go into survival mode, and I just want to take instead. I want to fill that void that I have created in my heart. All I want is to go my own way, and do as thou wilt.

While I have felt so far removed from any inspiration, I knew that I needed help fast. So I went to my Bible app, and read whatever came up first. It was from Luke 17, and I only needed to read one sentence before my heart began to pump again. Jesus said that we are not to look for the kingdom of God, because it is not a physical place; rather, it is "amidst" us. "Amidst" is the original word, but "within" is more popularly known, and is an acceptable translation as well. 

I put my trust in God. I use my faith to make sense of my life, and I spend most of my energy in trying to do the next right thing, and in reading, contemplating, communicating with other Christians, attending mass, and prayer. So when I really can't make sense of certain letdowns and I start to slack, I find it hard to bounce back. Fortunately, I have enough "muscle memory", that I instinctively knew to connect with God so that I could have the best attitude possible, as I knew I was at the end of the line. 

As I was preparing for my shift, I intrinsically recalled that the ailment was not in my external failures, but rather my internal assumptions. So when I turned to the scripture not even thirty minutes after this revelation, I was then ready to recognize the truth of Christ's words, even though I have read that verse countless of times. I realized that he was talking about our hearts: that is the "center", or the "amidst", and this is the fulfillment of the prophecy in the Old Testament, when Yahweh declared that he would write the Law on our hearts, instead of on cold, hard stone. 

I was given a gift of brief meditation, first to recollect my bearings, and then to turn to ancient wisdom. And so, my heart had been relieved, and I was ready to receive my guests. Sometimes we can feel defeated by loss, rejection, disappointment, even bad weather, but we will always have a way out of despondency, because Christ assured us that we can take heart, for he has already conquered the world.