A big part of healing the conflict-stricken ego is to have self-love. Some might think that self-love is akin to pride or vanity, but it's actually having self-respect. Self-respect can be a loaded word, thrown around in defiance or used against people to shame them, but what it really means is knowing the value we bring to others, and honouring that.
Self-love is also self-care. It's being gentle, loving, and nurturing with ourselves, and in turn we can give that same compassion to others. Self-care fosters self-esteem, because we become proud of our ability to take care of ourselves, and to then live with integrity.
We live in a world when people are so afraid to look vain, but we use the wrong methods to combat self-absorption. The solution to the problem of arrogance is humility, and the only way to be humble is to put God above all else. When we put God first, we truly begin to have self-love which at its very core is self-forgiveness.
So many people are going about the world with unresolved trauma, situations of buried pain resulting from unmet needs, and this causes stunted emotion growth. Because we didn’t have the autonomy to care for ourselves as children, I believe the ego develops a sort of self-hatred, where we feel we failed to take care of our most basic needs, and in so we develop a deep sense of guilt (that we might not even be aware of).
Self-love begins to heal the trauma of unmet needs, and as I work through my own recovery, I find that being harsh, critical, or judgemental with myself is no longer acceptable. I work to not say things to myself that I wouldn't say to someone else. I would not insult other people, and I am not the exception.
Ultimately, self-love involves acceptance. I learn to accept the imperfections that always were, or that I created, which with acts of self-forgiveness I can begin to make peace with. When I can let go of the past, I am practicing self-love. When I take care of myself, I am practicing self-love. When I am truly humble, and treat myself and others as children of God, deserving of compassion, understanding, and forgiveness, I am practicing self-love which I can then take out into my community and help with its own healing process.
Self-love begins to heal the trauma of unmet needs, and as I work through my own recovery, I find that being harsh, critical, or judgemental with myself is no longer acceptable. I work to not say things to myself that I wouldn't say to someone else. I would not insult other people, and I am not the exception.
Ultimately, self-love involves acceptance. I learn to accept the imperfections that always were, or that I created, which with acts of self-forgiveness I can begin to make peace with. When I can let go of the past, I am practicing self-love. When I take care of myself, I am practicing self-love. When I am truly humble, and treat myself and others as children of God, deserving of compassion, understanding, and forgiveness, I am practicing self-love which I can then take out into my community and help with its own healing process.
I would have loved to have lessons on self compassion growing up, took me until 40 to even realize I had trauma based emotional wounds. Learning feelings literacy is challenging but so worth it ❤️
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the reply! Yes, as people who understand trauma recovery, it can be so important to pass what we know on!
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