It's important for me to meet people where they are. Being able to do this is a gift of my recovery. It means respecting others' boundaries while honoring my own. It also means that I stop fighting God's will. This permits the entering of God's grace which provides the peace that I've been seeking.
Of course it can be hurtful to not get my way, but I have learnt that I cannot change or control people, and using anger or intimidation as a means to an end is no longer acceptable. Everyone to some degree is spiritually sick, and when I can accept that, I can choose paths to walk along that are safe for me. When I live and let live, I am building up my integrity, and breaking cycles of codependency.
And when I choose paths that move away from people who I would initially rather not part from, I know today that doesn't mean I have to stop caring for them. Prayers are powerful mediums to stay connected to people, even when we are no longer around them physically. I have experienced and heard stories of intercessory prayer working miracles in people's lives, both in receiving and bestowing blessings.
Being able to accept others as they are doesn't mean that the letdown is lessened, it simply means that I can acknowledge there are mysteries yet to be solved. When I can keep an open mind and entertain the possibility of something wonderful planned for me, or of trauma healing or a heart mending, it makes the unknown a little less scary. Because in the final analysis, my desperation to control is all rooted in fear that I will be left unprovided for. When I live and let live, I say no to deception, and that is empowering.
Being able to live and let live provides a relief for me to breathe and prepare for possibilities that I can't even fathom in the moment. The greatest setback for me during attacks of fear is an inability to act due to paralysis. This is a completely normal reaction to a threat, but it becomes unhealthy when there is no threat, which there usually is not. Again, deceit bullies me into a state of powerlessness and the solution to that is acceptance.
The problem with acceptance is that the immediate acknowledgement that I can't change a person or situation is more painful than the compulsion to believe I can. But that is only a moment when the band aid is being ripped off. After that, I see a self-imposed wound that is now closed up and is healing. It is healing because it is God's will to, and that's why the gaps in my understanding were being closed up before I even knew to release from my disillusionment.
While there is no immediate gratification in acceptance, there is dignity. While character building is often not the preferred choice, it is the best choice. When I choose character building over my instincts to scheme and manipulate, the energy that I am infused with ends up being more rewarding than acting on impulse. Instead of releasing tension through knee-jerk reactions, I am filled up with nourishing soundness of mind, and that is the real safety that I am seeking in my moments of fear.
Of course it can be hurtful to not get my way, but I have learnt that I cannot change or control people, and using anger or intimidation as a means to an end is no longer acceptable. Everyone to some degree is spiritually sick, and when I can accept that, I can choose paths to walk along that are safe for me. When I live and let live, I am building up my integrity, and breaking cycles of codependency.
And when I choose paths that move away from people who I would initially rather not part from, I know today that doesn't mean I have to stop caring for them. Prayers are powerful mediums to stay connected to people, even when we are no longer around them physically. I have experienced and heard stories of intercessory prayer working miracles in people's lives, both in receiving and bestowing blessings.
Being able to accept others as they are doesn't mean that the letdown is lessened, it simply means that I can acknowledge there are mysteries yet to be solved. When I can keep an open mind and entertain the possibility of something wonderful planned for me, or of trauma healing or a heart mending, it makes the unknown a little less scary. Because in the final analysis, my desperation to control is all rooted in fear that I will be left unprovided for. When I live and let live, I say no to deception, and that is empowering.
Being able to live and let live provides a relief for me to breathe and prepare for possibilities that I can't even fathom in the moment. The greatest setback for me during attacks of fear is an inability to act due to paralysis. This is a completely normal reaction to a threat, but it becomes unhealthy when there is no threat, which there usually is not. Again, deceit bullies me into a state of powerlessness and the solution to that is acceptance.
The problem with acceptance is that the immediate acknowledgement that I can't change a person or situation is more painful than the compulsion to believe I can. But that is only a moment when the band aid is being ripped off. After that, I see a self-imposed wound that is now closed up and is healing. It is healing because it is God's will to, and that's why the gaps in my understanding were being closed up before I even knew to release from my disillusionment.
While there is no immediate gratification in acceptance, there is dignity. While character building is often not the preferred choice, it is the best choice. When I choose character building over my instincts to scheme and manipulate, the energy that I am infused with ends up being more rewarding than acting on impulse. Instead of releasing tension through knee-jerk reactions, I am filled up with nourishing soundness of mind, and that is the real safety that I am seeking in my moments of fear.
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