It was not my intention to study and reflect on meditation the past week, but it is God's will because I believe that I am at a point where I can trust the healing power of prayer. When people told me to "pray on it" I thought it was a cop-out response to "I don't know". But now I know my resistance to ask God for help was in vain. Today I see that there is zero way that I, or anyone else, is going to repair the deep rooted sickness within me that is so difficult to make sense of, the best men of religion have been able to do is call it sin. Blaming us for things beyond our control, explaining it away by saying it is inherited.
For me that is an incomplete picture, but I also believe I need a cure in my life that surpasses science. That said, I had to understand exactly what was wrong in order to recognize that I am beyond human aid, and that includes my own intelligence and hard work. I need to know what exactly I am requesting in prayer. My prayer is a last resort, it must be specific.
I maintain that "Ask and ye shall receive" is one of the most misquoted verses in the Bible. There are conditions that must be met in order to receive. The free unmerited gift is salvation, where God meets us where we're at, but faith without works is dead. If I have not thoroughly examined myself and admitted that I am deeply flawed and as a result have hurt both myself and others, and that there is no real solution to repair my flawed design. I simply don't have the information needed to even know what I am asking for.
But when I can go back to my earliest memory and see the corruption, the pain, and through yes a bit of science which can ascertain a basic problem, then I can with confidence ask God to restore me. In my inadvertent studying of the differences between Eastern philosophy and Western Christian meditation, I learnt of the analogy of files where the brain places unpleasant information to be stored away so that the person can continue evolving and not be debilitated by trauma. At the right time, with the right work, with sufficient grace, I can ask God in prayer to recall or reorganize those files. But first, I need to even know that there are buried files and what is on them!
I have come to an understanding that the only hope for regeneration is through asking God to restore me, and as I addressed in my article Meditate on the Precepts of God, I need to be clear with what I am now asking for. The principle of "God, heal me" simply won't reach the root of the problem. Rather I need the definitive precept, "God, I am suffering with (insert sin), please recover it and release it."
There are so many tool that can work but only as immediate coping mechanisms. It's actually those coping mechanisms that ultimately led me to a place of stagnancy and suffering. I do not want a life where I am just getting by. I want to be prosperous spiritually, mentally, and materially, but more importantly, I want to be FREE. Free of people, places, and things. Free of the fear of tomorrow and remorse of the past. Will God delete those files? Maybe, maybe not. But when I know what to ask for, perhaps I will in fact receive.
For me that is an incomplete picture, but I also believe I need a cure in my life that surpasses science. That said, I had to understand exactly what was wrong in order to recognize that I am beyond human aid, and that includes my own intelligence and hard work. I need to know what exactly I am requesting in prayer. My prayer is a last resort, it must be specific.
I maintain that "Ask and ye shall receive" is one of the most misquoted verses in the Bible. There are conditions that must be met in order to receive. The free unmerited gift is salvation, where God meets us where we're at, but faith without works is dead. If I have not thoroughly examined myself and admitted that I am deeply flawed and as a result have hurt both myself and others, and that there is no real solution to repair my flawed design. I simply don't have the information needed to even know what I am asking for.
But when I can go back to my earliest memory and see the corruption, the pain, and through yes a bit of science which can ascertain a basic problem, then I can with confidence ask God to restore me. In my inadvertent studying of the differences between Eastern philosophy and Western Christian meditation, I learnt of the analogy of files where the brain places unpleasant information to be stored away so that the person can continue evolving and not be debilitated by trauma. At the right time, with the right work, with sufficient grace, I can ask God in prayer to recall or reorganize those files. But first, I need to even know that there are buried files and what is on them!
I have come to an understanding that the only hope for regeneration is through asking God to restore me, and as I addressed in my article Meditate on the Precepts of God, I need to be clear with what I am now asking for. The principle of "God, heal me" simply won't reach the root of the problem. Rather I need the definitive precept, "God, I am suffering with (insert sin), please recover it and release it."
There are so many tool that can work but only as immediate coping mechanisms. It's actually those coping mechanisms that ultimately led me to a place of stagnancy and suffering. I do not want a life where I am just getting by. I want to be prosperous spiritually, mentally, and materially, but more importantly, I want to be FREE. Free of people, places, and things. Free of the fear of tomorrow and remorse of the past. Will God delete those files? Maybe, maybe not. But when I know what to ask for, perhaps I will in fact receive.
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