I have been feeling a resistance to the spiritual the past few days. I know that I need to be spiritual as I am maladjusted to the physical, and the spirit world gives me freedom from the bondage of self, from my skewed perception of my role on the planet, but I have begun to question what might I be cutting out short through the almost refusal to play?
I have considered that being spiritual can still be an expression of self-will, of not really have a solution to the challenges that I face daily, and I have been feeling the restrictions of my current practice. In fact I have been feeling so confounded that I have begun to turn to mathematics to be relieved of the nagging feeling that I am missing something.
The limitations of words and books have, seemingly out of nowhere (though it's never really on a whim) become so apparent to me, and the fear that has been instilled in me to not go outside the confinements of human reason so distasteful, I have lost all concern of being "right".
The confidence required to move forward so that I don't default back to a place of contempation is strong right now (Star Wars much?), while the self-love required to practice acceptance of things I perhaps would like to change while still aspiring to transform them into something of an asset is firm. When people don't hold power over me, I behave a lot less defective and more in tune with the natural rhythm of my surroundings, even when it seems to be off-beat.
Possibilities present themselves when I am willing to disregard the opinions of others, and even of self. Being judgemental is a soul sickness where spirituality is in fact needed, in order to release from expectations that "should be" manifested in the material. But sometimes just being planted on the ground, steady with one foot in front of the other, is all it takes to have a good day, which can lead into a good week. And for me, a good week is crucial, because it is after that week where I literally clean house and spend time with family, and I want to reflect in a week well lived, and prepare for what I would like to do differently in the week coming up.
Progress doesn't have to mean abandonment of faith or reason, but simply the resolve to add to the formula, never being afraid of peer review, or adjustment. I am not sure how this radical shift has transpired, what inspired it, but it's pretty darn fun right now.
I have considered that being spiritual can still be an expression of self-will, of not really have a solution to the challenges that I face daily, and I have been feeling the restrictions of my current practice. In fact I have been feeling so confounded that I have begun to turn to mathematics to be relieved of the nagging feeling that I am missing something.
The limitations of words and books have, seemingly out of nowhere (though it's never really on a whim) become so apparent to me, and the fear that has been instilled in me to not go outside the confinements of human reason so distasteful, I have lost all concern of being "right".
The confidence required to move forward so that I don't default back to a place of contempation is strong right now (Star Wars much?), while the self-love required to practice acceptance of things I perhaps would like to change while still aspiring to transform them into something of an asset is firm. When people don't hold power over me, I behave a lot less defective and more in tune with the natural rhythm of my surroundings, even when it seems to be off-beat.
Possibilities present themselves when I am willing to disregard the opinions of others, and even of self. Being judgemental is a soul sickness where spirituality is in fact needed, in order to release from expectations that "should be" manifested in the material. But sometimes just being planted on the ground, steady with one foot in front of the other, is all it takes to have a good day, which can lead into a good week. And for me, a good week is crucial, because it is after that week where I literally clean house and spend time with family, and I want to reflect in a week well lived, and prepare for what I would like to do differently in the week coming up.
Progress doesn't have to mean abandonment of faith or reason, but simply the resolve to add to the formula, never being afraid of peer review, or adjustment. I am not sure how this radical shift has transpired, what inspired it, but it's pretty darn fun right now.
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