Muscle power

The biggest challenge that I face today is to let go of my desire to control people, places, and things, and go about my business without trepidation. Every aspect of my life today is not satisfactory, however it is not hopeless, either. Therefore, I must remember that release from self-pity at this pivotal point is crucial, because my sanity lies in having the faith that God, or the Universe, is unravelling the path before me just fine. 

For the first time in my life, I have been dependent on other people. I have always relied heavily on my father, but what I mean this time is I cannot move ahead until certain people follow through on their end. Some people have made choices that affect my life goals, some have made choices that have affected my promotion at work that was supposed to have happened over a month ago, some people are making choices on how emotionally close we become, and some people won't even call me back on matters that literally affect my security of self.

Never have I been so far out in left field, and I realized today that I am facing real grown up challenges for the first time, and while I am fortunate that I have made it this far into adulthood without any real (physical) difficulties, a thought came, "This is only the beginning". NO WAY! I am a child of God and I will never be subjected to other people, I will continue to find the courage to release from my fears, which are the root of all my problems. I have a program of recovery that teaches me how to let go of self pity and selfishness and a Leader who assures me that I will have the strength to continue on, along with the guarantee from God that I will be prosperous.

This is all building power - muscle power. When we make our bodies physically strong through exercise, the muscles we are born with split, and when they are rebuilt, they are bigger and stronger and allow us to perform greater feats. This is the exact same for facing obstacles that have the incredible ability to consume our minds and lead to irrational decisions, or worse, passivity. When we face challenges calmly and consider the the other parties involved, we exercise our God-given faculties and in so split from that neuroses that leads to painful obsessions which rob us of God's peace. 

So what happens to our mental dexterity once we have broken from our obsessions? It becomes so flexible that we hold on to our serenity without effort. That "muscle memory" kicks in, and we are on autopilot, protected until our nerves can relax. What I am experiencing this month is just training, it's learning how to live one day at a time, let go and let God, and to remember, easy does it. 

I hope to soon report back to you with the divine fabric that God weaves into me through my ripped compulsions. The ability to communicate the changes in my nature are the works of my faith, and give me great pleasure to pass on. Until then, dear reader.