I've been receiving a lot of messages about free will lately, and today I was invited to meditate on what it means to respond, instead of react - something that is a crucial learning in recovery. When I act calmly and rationally, I am not subjected to my environment, because I don't suffer from the consequences that happen when reacting. I become more free to move around, with more options to choose from. I become empowered to choose.
The way that we understand "responding" and "reacting" is when responding, we assess what is before us, and act accordingly, which might require some time-out before making a decision. Whereas reacting is impulsive, and usually has negative consequences. Some examples are needing to make apologies, jeopardizing opportunities, or mismanagement of important resources, such as money.
I was reading some more lectures by Inayat Khan yesterday, and funnily enough, one of his talks was on free will verses destiny. He confirmed what I was for the first time really understanding - that we are both mechanical and creative beings, the former we are powerless over our environment, the latter we are limitless. Today I believe that we do not need to be victims of circumstance, that with the spirit, opportunities will present themselves.
Most of us are not connected to our creative selves though, and so many people are petty, and prefer recrimination to restitution. I believe that this is single-handedly the greatest poison to the human race that we are prey to, and to reconnect to our higher selves is crucial. But with this cruciality comes the crucible: the refiner's furnace where we look at the rot in order to be purified and freed from this debilitating tit-for-tat. Not always pleasant, but it is necessary to rise above the discomfort and the desperation for retaliation. This retaliation is oftentimes not reasonable, it is impassioned and reckless, and it hurts us rather than relieves us.
I no longer believe that I need to be a victim of circumstance, and when I can trust the universe, I can be so grateful for what I do have. Surely everyone has at least one talent that they can draw from, that can carry them from one moment to the next. There might still be consequences in one's life from the inappropriate use of free will, or from the complacency of where destiny would have one be, but even the smallest action day in and day out will make the changes needed to rectify losing to fate's will, and return to what our higher selves would have us be.
"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves." - William Shakespeare
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