Today marks my two years of sobriety. My last run was Remembrance Day - it gives "Remember When" a whole new interpretation for me :)
My friend in the Program is receiving his fifteen year medallion on Monday, and it got me thinking about long-term sobriety, and what it really takes to make it in the Program.
I attend an affluent group, and I joined because there were young people, and my sponsor thought it was time for me to fellowship. So, after I received my one year medallion, I made the move, and it was not an easy transition. There were times I really wanted to leave, and sometimes I still do, but that's because I am selfish and self-seeking, and I usually forget why I am there. I lack the humility that my friend has. I still have so much shame around my illness, that I like to push it to the side, placing myself in a position where I am vulnerable to getting so caught up with the boys and the girls and the fashion. It's human nature I suppose, but considering WHY I am there, it's ridiculous!
I attend an affluent group, and I joined because there were young people, and my sponsor thought it was time for me to fellowship. So, after I received my one year medallion, I made the move, and it was not an easy transition. There were times I really wanted to leave, and sometimes I still do, but that's because I am selfish and self-seeking, and I usually forget why I am there. I lack the humility that my friend has. I still have so much shame around my illness, that I like to push it to the side, placing myself in a position where I am vulnerable to getting so caught up with the boys and the girls and the fashion. It's human nature I suppose, but considering WHY I am there, it's ridiculous!
My friend who is receiving his fifteen year medallion does not get caught up in the sociality of the group. Instead, he has accepted his alcoholism and remembers the true spirit of the fellowship. He was one of the first people to be kind to me, and I will not soon forget that. And I don't just mean acknowledging my existence, I mean truly giving. I was in some uncomfortable scenarios, and he was so humble and supported me. And I say humble because he holds influence, and rightly so, as he is a founding member of the group, and yet his shares are so raw that they cut to the bone, and they are always in the genuine spirit to the Program.
I get so wrapped up in the more glamourous side of this group that I soon forget where I come from and where I now need to go. I forget my primary purpose, which is to be saved and then to go out and save others. May I take this opportunity that someone humble has given us all, to remember when.
Congratulations on your continued sobriety. It takes a lot of strength, and try not to beat yourself up too badly for wanting to be social too. You can help others and be genuine to the program while still having friends too!
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