"Wherefore, to the end that we may the better understand and explain what night is this through which the soul passes, and for what cause God sets it therein, it will be well here to touch first of all upon certain characteristics of beginners, in order that, realizing the weakness of the state wherein they are, they may take courage, and may desire that God will bring them into this night, wherein the soul is strengthened and confirmed in the virtues, and made ready for the inestimable delights of the love of God." - St. John of the Cross, Dark Night of the Soul
Up until this pandemic, I thought if I worked hard enough and loved God well enough, I would be rewarded. It was a sort of draconian reward and punishment system that looking back now, I understand to have been a broken mind's interpretation of God's majesty. I questioned why my methods weren't working, why my discipline and passion weren't paying dividends.
Life herself has taught me a very valuable lesson: we journey through a dark night in order to stand tall in times of adversity. It's not about being rewarded with any sort of pleasure, and it's not even about having power in being a leader to others. It's about acquiring the mental capacity to withstand the taunting of the Enemy when we are vulnerable.
I had abandoned the idea of spiritual warfare, of a fallen world, and of bringing the body into submission through denial of the senses. All I wanted was peace, comfort, and belonging, and in pretending there was no such thing as harm or separation, I was able to enjoy some time believing that I would be better off without the resistance of self. But I can see now that militant archetypes served such an immense purpose for me, that I now find myself at times having to remind myself that we are in a global crisis. And this is because the psalm is true, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you your hearts desires." I desire to be delivered from this pandemic with as little injury as possible.
The ancient indigenous proverb that says, "When man had destroyed nature, then he will see that he cannot eat money", has echoed through my mind the past couple of weeks. I am convinced now that everything I thought would make me happy has been rendered entirely and unequivocally useless, and instead all of my journeys into the dark night have blessed me beyond measure. I sought God and I found relief when it mattered the most, and that made it worth it. I am vindicated in the knowledge that when my passions do not serve me in wartime, they are truly meaningless in peacetime.
We come to a close of our Lenten season this Holy Week, as we, in isolation, mark the journey, trial, punishment, execution, and finally, resurrection, of our Lord Jesus Christ. We will break fast, and we will acknowledge our shortcomings. This pandemic will end. Will we emerge renewed and resurrected?
Let this time of sacrifice and grieving be the purification of the dark night that we must enter before coming out victorious, wearing new robes, wrapped in the love of God which will give us the strength to never be subjected to the chaos in this eon again.
Up until this pandemic, I thought if I worked hard enough and loved God well enough, I would be rewarded. It was a sort of draconian reward and punishment system that looking back now, I understand to have been a broken mind's interpretation of God's majesty. I questioned why my methods weren't working, why my discipline and passion weren't paying dividends.
Life herself has taught me a very valuable lesson: we journey through a dark night in order to stand tall in times of adversity. It's not about being rewarded with any sort of pleasure, and it's not even about having power in being a leader to others. It's about acquiring the mental capacity to withstand the taunting of the Enemy when we are vulnerable.
I had abandoned the idea of spiritual warfare, of a fallen world, and of bringing the body into submission through denial of the senses. All I wanted was peace, comfort, and belonging, and in pretending there was no such thing as harm or separation, I was able to enjoy some time believing that I would be better off without the resistance of self. But I can see now that militant archetypes served such an immense purpose for me, that I now find myself at times having to remind myself that we are in a global crisis. And this is because the psalm is true, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you your hearts desires." I desire to be delivered from this pandemic with as little injury as possible.
The ancient indigenous proverb that says, "When man had destroyed nature, then he will see that he cannot eat money", has echoed through my mind the past couple of weeks. I am convinced now that everything I thought would make me happy has been rendered entirely and unequivocally useless, and instead all of my journeys into the dark night have blessed me beyond measure. I sought God and I found relief when it mattered the most, and that made it worth it. I am vindicated in the knowledge that when my passions do not serve me in wartime, they are truly meaningless in peacetime.
We come to a close of our Lenten season this Holy Week, as we, in isolation, mark the journey, trial, punishment, execution, and finally, resurrection, of our Lord Jesus Christ. We will break fast, and we will acknowledge our shortcomings. This pandemic will end. Will we emerge renewed and resurrected?
Let this time of sacrifice and grieving be the purification of the dark night that we must enter before coming out victorious, wearing new robes, wrapped in the love of God which will give us the strength to never be subjected to the chaos in this eon again.
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