Since January 2011, I have posted at least one article per month. At times I chose a blog interface where the side of the homepage showed each year active, and viewers could see every month under the year, denoting articles. I felt a sense of accomplishment and pride. For February 2019 however, there will not be any articles displaying. This is because after a disappointing start to the new year in January, and a new assignment that kept me from my computer, I really only communicated through poems. And rather graphic ones, at that. I realized near the end of the month, I wasn't comfortable keeping them up, and so they are no longer available for viewing.
When I looked at my dashboard upon preparing for this entry, not entirely sure the direction of the piece, I could see five drafts posted in February, two of them works in progress from the end of December - all poems. I have always loved poetry; my dream in high school was to be studied as a writer and my fear was not being appreciated until postmortem. But I had a very long hiatus from writing poetry, since the end of high school. This is for various reasons, but what brought me back to writing poetry was the death of a best friend in 2013, which broke my heart into multiple pieces, all representing different parts of what I grieved. My sorrow closed all of my feelings in, and writing out key words in a gentle rhythm was the only way I could in a quiet way during a vulnerable time express my pain.
As the years went on, I realized poetry was the best way for me to, in a safe, healthy, creative, and satisfying way, release feelings of rejection, loss, and staticity. So to see that I will not be posting any pieces for February because they were all poems, which I decided through healing in the latter part of the month were no longer cohesive to this blog, I now reflect on this seeming failure to not maintain my status quo after many years.
But was it a failure? Of course not. I wrote prolifically, and a couple of those pieces I am proud of, but for now they are for my memory only. I believe writing poetry is the most pure and basic way to reach the end goal of catharsis and if it's a good piece, others will in some way relate to it, and maybe even take a phrase to go along with them on this trek through the wilderness toward liberation from stress.
When I looked at my dashboard upon preparing for this entry, not entirely sure the direction of the piece, I could see five drafts posted in February, two of them works in progress from the end of December - all poems. I have always loved poetry; my dream in high school was to be studied as a writer and my fear was not being appreciated until postmortem. But I had a very long hiatus from writing poetry, since the end of high school. This is for various reasons, but what brought me back to writing poetry was the death of a best friend in 2013, which broke my heart into multiple pieces, all representing different parts of what I grieved. My sorrow closed all of my feelings in, and writing out key words in a gentle rhythm was the only way I could in a quiet way during a vulnerable time express my pain.
As the years went on, I realized poetry was the best way for me to, in a safe, healthy, creative, and satisfying way, release feelings of rejection, loss, and staticity. So to see that I will not be posting any pieces for February because they were all poems, which I decided through healing in the latter part of the month were no longer cohesive to this blog, I now reflect on this seeming failure to not maintain my status quo after many years.
But was it a failure? Of course not. I wrote prolifically, and a couple of those pieces I am proud of, but for now they are for my memory only. I believe writing poetry is the most pure and basic way to reach the end goal of catharsis and if it's a good piece, others will in some way relate to it, and maybe even take a phrase to go along with them on this trek through the wilderness toward liberation from stress.
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