"In this life we shall attain nothing like perfect humility and love. So we shall have to settle, respecting most of our problems, for a very gradual progress, punctuated sometimes by heavy setbacks. Our old-time attitude of ‘all or nothing’ will have to be abandoned." - Bill Wilson, Grapevine, March 1962
I have always strived for perfection, to the point that I would deny myself certain opportunities because my position in them wouldn't be at the highest rank. My fundamental Christian practice also helped foster the idea that perfection was possible, because I misinterpreted the text and gravitated toward people who could confirm my beliefs.
It wasn't until I reached a new bottom that I finally began to entertain the idea that perfection was in fact not possible and that my stubborn chasing after it was actually antithetical to my intention to follow and have confidence in God. I finally surrendered to the concept that I am not counted on to be perfect, rather I am to aim for a degree of perfection that God wishes for me (65).
The relief that has followed has given me a more authentic application and a peace of mind that I am not only on the intended path, but that I will be provided for. Trying to control people and outcomes is a toll on the mind and therefore body and hurts myself and others. I didn't realize that I was wresting with God, but today I can trust that God is in everything and that He works through people. In believing this I have been able to appreciate the events in my life and also be released from dependence on others. A wonderful result of this changed approach is an understanding that I do not owe anyone: the chips fall where they may.
When I hit my bottom at the beginning of the month I blamed myself and my practice. I looked to make sense of the mess I created and my only conclusion was that I failed to execute certain objectives somewhere along my journey. But today I believe that sometimes I am simply human and ignorant and sometimes I will create chaos. Now I know why I take a daily inventory where I look at the stock in trade in order to throw out what is costing me to keep. It's not because I am perfect and do the do things, it's because I'm not perfect and so I desire to keep check of what is happening in my day.
Pain is the great teacher, because it catapults me into action, and when I am in action I am in the world relating to others, and when I am relating to others I am interacting with God who I am trying so hard to identify with, because God works through people. In understanding this I am better able to accept discomfort not as an enemy that needs to be defeated, but as a signal to release my worries to God, which is His will for me.
I have always strived for perfection, to the point that I would deny myself certain opportunities because my position in them wouldn't be at the highest rank. My fundamental Christian practice also helped foster the idea that perfection was possible, because I misinterpreted the text and gravitated toward people who could confirm my beliefs.
It wasn't until I reached a new bottom that I finally began to entertain the idea that perfection was in fact not possible and that my stubborn chasing after it was actually antithetical to my intention to follow and have confidence in God. I finally surrendered to the concept that I am not counted on to be perfect, rather I am to aim for a degree of perfection that God wishes for me (65).
The relief that has followed has given me a more authentic application and a peace of mind that I am not only on the intended path, but that I will be provided for. Trying to control people and outcomes is a toll on the mind and therefore body and hurts myself and others. I didn't realize that I was wresting with God, but today I can trust that God is in everything and that He works through people. In believing this I have been able to appreciate the events in my life and also be released from dependence on others. A wonderful result of this changed approach is an understanding that I do not owe anyone: the chips fall where they may.
When I hit my bottom at the beginning of the month I blamed myself and my practice. I looked to make sense of the mess I created and my only conclusion was that I failed to execute certain objectives somewhere along my journey. But today I believe that sometimes I am simply human and ignorant and sometimes I will create chaos. Now I know why I take a daily inventory where I look at the stock in trade in order to throw out what is costing me to keep. It's not because I am perfect and do the do things, it's because I'm not perfect and so I desire to keep check of what is happening in my day.
Pain is the great teacher, because it catapults me into action, and when I am in action I am in the world relating to others, and when I am relating to others I am interacting with God who I am trying so hard to identify with, because God works through people. In understanding this I am better able to accept discomfort not as an enemy that needs to be defeated, but as a signal to release my worries to God, which is His will for me.
You strive for admiration and appreciation. You are overindulgent, emotionally blocked and repetitive. Learn to quit sometimes.
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