All morning I've been receiving messages to let go of the past with love and compassion. This is a nice sentiment, but I wonder if the tools I am using are merely targeting middle to upper class white women with daddy issues who can just find a distraction until the next uncomfortable recollection comes up that again needs sweeping under the carpet.
While I have been feeling an abundance of kindliness and love in my life as I have entered the second phase of my recovery, my second initiation as I like to refer to it, I also have entered a new level of honesty (which comes with the package and nothing of my own doing of surfacing burdens to have healed). What is different in this clearing of the past, however, is not going to the person who I have a broken relationship with and trying to talk it out and possibly come to a solution on how to change behaviour.
What is coming up now are recognizing societal problems that are so much bigger than me, but letting go with love doesn't seem sufficient. While God is working unbelievable miracles in my life, helping me to help myself be rid of so much toxins in my life, I wonder if I can do more than say a prayer and go about my merry way. And going about my merry way is also sufficient, because peace spreads by mere energy transference, and I know that I can continue as I am, and die in peace.
But I want so much more than to just ride out the spontaneous moments of pain and then to live and die in peace. I want to understand the rot in this world. I want to fight the good fight. I want to help women work through their own trauma and go on to live not only in peace, but in self-worth, which means complete severance from people-pleasing, and also to live in independence, which means complete severance from financial and emotional dependence on others. I want to leave behind tangible resources for the generations to come, and they will come.
Jesus came first as a sacrificial lamb, but he WILL return as a ravaging lion. This shows me that innocence comes first, but then retribution will come second. A part of me wants to be in the movement that disrupts the status quo, because I am seeing violence inflicted on females as early a primary school. And while we are taught that we don't fight fire with fire, maybe the entire structure needs to burn to the ground.
There is nothing unholy about our recompense; the danger is when we try to do God's job which is for His glory and His time and not ours to execute. But changing the way we raise our generations isn't the same as betraying our commandment to show compassion, it's learning to work through corrosion and violence in a different way. As we wait for the last saints to return to God, let's in the meantime see what happens when we call a spade a spade, and use it to pierce those who somehow got their hands on a weapon that is incomprehensible how they even found it, let alone learned how to use it.
While I have been feeling an abundance of kindliness and love in my life as I have entered the second phase of my recovery, my second initiation as I like to refer to it, I also have entered a new level of honesty (which comes with the package and nothing of my own doing of surfacing burdens to have healed). What is different in this clearing of the past, however, is not going to the person who I have a broken relationship with and trying to talk it out and possibly come to a solution on how to change behaviour.
What is coming up now are recognizing societal problems that are so much bigger than me, but letting go with love doesn't seem sufficient. While God is working unbelievable miracles in my life, helping me to help myself be rid of so much toxins in my life, I wonder if I can do more than say a prayer and go about my merry way. And going about my merry way is also sufficient, because peace spreads by mere energy transference, and I know that I can continue as I am, and die in peace.
But I want so much more than to just ride out the spontaneous moments of pain and then to live and die in peace. I want to understand the rot in this world. I want to fight the good fight. I want to help women work through their own trauma and go on to live not only in peace, but in self-worth, which means complete severance from people-pleasing, and also to live in independence, which means complete severance from financial and emotional dependence on others. I want to leave behind tangible resources for the generations to come, and they will come.
Jesus came first as a sacrificial lamb, but he WILL return as a ravaging lion. This shows me that innocence comes first, but then retribution will come second. A part of me wants to be in the movement that disrupts the status quo, because I am seeing violence inflicted on females as early a primary school. And while we are taught that we don't fight fire with fire, maybe the entire structure needs to burn to the ground.
There is nothing unholy about our recompense; the danger is when we try to do God's job which is for His glory and His time and not ours to execute. But changing the way we raise our generations isn't the same as betraying our commandment to show compassion, it's learning to work through corrosion and violence in a different way. As we wait for the last saints to return to God, let's in the meantime see what happens when we call a spade a spade, and use it to pierce those who somehow got their hands on a weapon that is incomprehensible how they even found it, let alone learned how to use it.
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