For me, first things first is my recovery, because without my sobriety, I have nothing, including God.
I need to make decisions everyday to work on my program - to take time for my readings, to take personal inventory, to have the humility to trust others and talk out any problems or concerns that I am having, in order to keep my mind clear and not repeat poor decision making patterns.
For me, heaven is within, this is consistent with both my program and my faith, in fact, the two compliment each other to the point that they are now inseparable in my life. Some people when qualifying to be blessed enough to be in A.A. still want to make first things first about God and THEN about needing recovery, but for me, I have tried that, and it doesn't work for me. If I could have turned my life around on the Church alone, I would have, gladly.
I need to start my day being grateful, and yes this is God working through me, but if I don't recall immediately that I am screwed because I am insane and obsessive, then there is no space for God to work through me, because then I am rejecting grace by being defiant.
In order for me to really get better and be joyous and free, I need to remember first that I need a program of recovery which is preceded by a fellowship. The only way that I can have a fulfilling life is to paradoxically see clearly my weakness. It is through acceptance, and nothing else, that I may be happy, but without a program, living a spiritually-based life will not be found.
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