Permanent sobriety

I have been contemplating what the steps really do for our sobriety. I believe that if we practice the steps daily, we recover and do not pick up a drink again. But a friend who relapsed after twenty years said that he was working his steps, and another friend who has over twenty years of sobriety and who is a solid member agrees that one can relapse even in the midst of the steps. 

I just can't adhere to that, and that would be fine, if I didn't have a prodigy. Am I teaching her the truth? The unfortunate, the one who can't get or stay sober, is constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. Therefore, why wouldn't it be considered that they were not honestly working the program, practicing the steps day in and day out, and when struggling, even more rigorously?