Something that I feel the atheists are onto, is at the end of the day we did not just "pop up" on this planet the way that the monotheistic religions teach us, and which now accept evolution as truth, giving varying explanations on why the doctrines of the creation story were once accepted as fact.
No, we came to be out of billions upon billions of years of development, first from the expansion of the universe, to our progress as single-celled amebae in the sea. So why wouldn't we understand this to be the case with God as well?
Everything in this universe has formed either through polar attraction, chemical reaction, or gravitational clumping. In other words, nothing came into existence on its own - there has always been a linking.
If we are made in God's image, and God is absolute alone, then why do we need so many elements to exist? We need a sperm, an egg, and an incubator, along with the things needed for progression, such as air, water, shelter, time, and so on. So how can this First Cause have not also needed something which would not only consummate him, but that would also keep him moving to the point that the universe has developed to today? How could this Source not also need to work with other elements to exist?
This question in no means is posing a crisis of faith. I know demons, and they know me, and I know what a dark night of the soul is - I experience it every several months or so, and it only frightened me the first time, in Advent 2010; now, it's more so just a nuisance. What I am questioning now, is more so an honest look at the idea that the apple does not fall far from the tree.
I am starting to see Yahweh for who he really is: a jealous and vengeful deity who invokes fear to keep us out of his way. But I do not fear him, for Jesus is my staff, and he has promised to lighten my burden. Of course I feel apprehension, but really this questioning has only renewed my commitment to the Eucharist - the centre of the Catholic faith.
This is why, through all of my heresies, through all of my apparent "blasphemies", through all of my possibly corrupted and perhaps even evil teachings, I take the Eucharist to keep me safe from both the demiurge of the Old Testament, and, as originally taken, to protect myself from those who try to destroy me through the barbaric techniques in mind-control training. But perhaps the witches and Yahweh are one in the same now.
Therefore, though many would disagree and feel the (hypocritical) need to pray for my soul that is accused to be accursed to descend rapidly into the depths of hell, I consider myself to not only be a good and obedient Catholic, but also a favoured one.
In Catholicism, we do not believe that we choose Christ - we believe that it is he who chooses us. Jesus chose me at one of the most pivotal times of my life. Not only I was in the midst of training to become a Kundalini Yoga Teacher (which I had spent thousands of dollars to train for, and yes, I completed the course - and three years later have still not taught a single class), but I was also being mentally assessed by my therapist, and defiant of the diagnosis, and lastly, utterly confused about this Jesus character, listening to yogis teaching me that this was the end of his (Piscean) age (and the beginning of the "new age" - the age of Aquarius).
Now, the scales have fallen from my eyes, and I recognize Yahweh to be my enemy. This time, I do not fear him. This time I want justice for myself and for this world that we have been so insidiously taught is fallen, and which in turn only justifies, and even encourages the "evil" state of man. I will no longer let this war-criminal pervert - who we have named and worshipped in error, "([The Source] is unnameable, since there is no one prior to him to give him a name") who requests us to murder one another, who punishes us simply for being human, and who, in the most hideous request of all in my opinion, asks us to mutilate infant boys in their most private and sensitive members - continue to take the reigns.
And yes, this puts me in an uncomfortable position, not only because it ostracizes me from my peers, but because Yahweh is far greater than me, and I worry that there will be repercussions for my overt beliefs. But as a true Catholic, without this Trinity garbage and reverence of the cross, Jesus is my Lord, and I am obediant and loyal. "He who loses his life for me will save it."
I believe that the Eucharist will keep my spirit untouchable. Though we can rarely escape man, my soul is my Lord's - it is not even mine to be taken, nor given away, nor broken, nor destroyed.
And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord FOREVER.
This question in no means is posing a crisis of faith. I know demons, and they know me, and I know what a dark night of the soul is - I experience it every several months or so, and it only frightened me the first time, in Advent 2010; now, it's more so just a nuisance. What I am questioning now, is more so an honest look at the idea that the apple does not fall far from the tree.
I am starting to see Yahweh for who he really is: a jealous and vengeful deity who invokes fear to keep us out of his way. But I do not fear him, for Jesus is my staff, and he has promised to lighten my burden. Of course I feel apprehension, but really this questioning has only renewed my commitment to the Eucharist - the centre of the Catholic faith.
This is why, through all of my heresies, through all of my apparent "blasphemies", through all of my possibly corrupted and perhaps even evil teachings, I take the Eucharist to keep me safe from both the demiurge of the Old Testament, and, as originally taken, to protect myself from those who try to destroy me through the barbaric techniques in mind-control training. But perhaps the witches and Yahweh are one in the same now.
Therefore, though many would disagree and feel the (hypocritical) need to pray for my soul that is accused to be accursed to descend rapidly into the depths of hell, I consider myself to not only be a good and obedient Catholic, but also a favoured one.
In Catholicism, we do not believe that we choose Christ - we believe that it is he who chooses us. Jesus chose me at one of the most pivotal times of my life. Not only I was in the midst of training to become a Kundalini Yoga Teacher (which I had spent thousands of dollars to train for, and yes, I completed the course - and three years later have still not taught a single class), but I was also being mentally assessed by my therapist, and defiant of the diagnosis, and lastly, utterly confused about this Jesus character, listening to yogis teaching me that this was the end of his (Piscean) age (and the beginning of the "new age" - the age of Aquarius).
Now, the scales have fallen from my eyes, and I recognize Yahweh to be my enemy. This time, I do not fear him. This time I want justice for myself and for this world that we have been so insidiously taught is fallen, and which in turn only justifies, and even encourages the "evil" state of man. I will no longer let this war-criminal pervert - who we have named and worshipped in error, "([The Source] is unnameable, since there is no one prior to him to give him a name") who requests us to murder one another, who punishes us simply for being human, and who, in the most hideous request of all in my opinion, asks us to mutilate infant boys in their most private and sensitive members - continue to take the reigns.
And yes, this puts me in an uncomfortable position, not only because it ostracizes me from my peers, but because Yahweh is far greater than me, and I worry that there will be repercussions for my overt beliefs. But as a true Catholic, without this Trinity garbage and reverence of the cross, Jesus is my Lord, and I am obediant and loyal. "He who loses his life for me will save it."
I believe that the Eucharist will keep my spirit untouchable. Though we can rarely escape man, my soul is my Lord's - it is not even mine to be taken, nor given away, nor broken, nor destroyed.
And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord FOREVER.
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