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on April 02, 2014

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I will fight
to the death
to protect
the hurt
feelings
that make me
vulnerable
to you.

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Happy New Year (It's a Jubilee Year)

I was speaking with a friend who is returning to their art of painting, and as they shared some of their pieces with me, I recognized it as abstract art. It caused me to think of this blog, where a lot of the images on this site are from searching for abstract art, and I realized that I have really left this blog, and therefore a huge and meaningful section of my work, hanging. When I moved to a new website, I did link it in my last blog post here, but for financial reasons, I shut that site down, so that link is no longer working, and hasn't been for well over a year. I have also now entirely removed that link from the post. As such, I wanted to link my Substack to this site, to help people find my newer work. Check out my newer writing on my Substack . Peace and love, Carly Photo by Turgay Koca

The gifts of the Program

It is my nightmare to speak at open meetings. I actually avoid certain meetings where I know I will be asked. I blank-out fully, I have zero confidence that I will say anything useful, and I have had such long moments of starting ahead, not saying anything, as though paralyzed, that I have once been told from the audience that it's okay (from an Al-Anon, at that), and twice been told (nicely) to just sit down. One of those times, the person even did the hand swipe across the neck gesture. I laugh about it today. This is what we do in the fellowship, we laugh at these unfortunate situations :) But I can write, so I like to talk about the things that I just can't seem to in front of a room full of people (the Internet gives us all false courage - similar to road rage :)). So here goes. Because of A.A., I have friends (even though we come in with very poor mental health, and our bonds are contingent on sobriety and working the program, which sadly, is not often the case...

The branches

"Jesus said, 'What is the Kingdom of God like? To what can I compare it? It is like a mustard seed that a man took and planted in the garden. When it was fully grown, it became a large bush and the birds of the sky dwelt in its branches.'" - Luke 13.18-9 First Things First, one of our famous slogans, often cited, rarely understood. "First see ye, the kingdom of God". In Matthew's gospel, he writes, "the kingdom of heaven", and for the fellowship, I find that most fitting. Originally, the Big Book said that we had found a piece of heaven, but a Catholic priest, who was one to edit the book, replaced "heaven" with "utopia". And how serendipitous is that? When we put first things first, when we work our program first, and then enjoy the fellowship second, we really do find the peace that resides within the kingdom. "For the kingdom of God is not eating or drinking, it is righteousness, peace, and joy in the Hol...

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